How to treat a wife-beater at a family gathering?

Invalidity · 2013-12-25T18:40:56+00:00

Your objective is not to change your cousin's mind about how she feels about the guy. Whether it's this guy or the next one, the apples she picks will always fall from the same tree.

Stand your ground but don't be all-out aggressive. These people are beneath you and should be treated as such, assuming what you tell me is all true. If they try to get in your face with verbal assault, just laugh at them and condescend them. From the sound of things, these people will back down when confronted.

johnnight · 2013-12-25T21:54:15+00:00

Don't be white knighting. Be Zen.

Edit: He is not the problem, OP. YOU are. You have visible anger issues. You have used all these anger words:

talks a lot of shit about our family
all and all real peace of shit
this cockface
cockface
talking shit about again
this sort of scum
his fucking moronic wife

The dude has not attacked you yet, but you are already preparing yourself to have a physical fight with him. You are imagining what you will do to him, when his expected typical behavior will flame your anger. You are asking us for preemptive absolution for the violence, which you want to commit.

I am not asking you to be Gandhi or Buddha. I am asking you to do what is in your best interest. Do NOT do that which will give you immediate emotional gratification, but will land you in jail.

You can't solve their issues. Don't white knight. If you start a fight, the female cousin will be on his side. You can't win that one.

If the talks shit on you, have some people by your side and just tell him that everyone thinks he is an asshole. Make sure other people will confirm your words. This way it does not come off as a 1 on 1 confrontation, more like an intervention.

captshady · 2013-12-25T18:20:03+00:00

Getting physical, or standing your ground with him won't change your cousin's mind about him.

IMO, you have two options

1) Take him aside, and tell him how it's going to be, and the consequences of his actions. Be ready to deliver, and be ready for whatever legal action comes against you after the fact.

2) Be nice to him, and "tease him". "Boy, you're really short, what are you 5' 5"? Make him look as beta as possible whenever your cousin is around. If he tries to put you down, laugh, then come right back at him. If he's says anything remotely bitchy, moans, or antagonizes a family member, call him a girl's name ... tell him his pig tails are too tight.

Keep your awareness and guard up whenever he's within striking range from you, but don't start, and don't look scared. If he tries physical shit with you such as pushing, shoving in a challenging way, act like you find it funny that a punk assed bitch like him even dare try something with you, because you're no woman.

If he tries anything to cause you physical harm, knock him the fuck out. Eventually, your cousin will see the piece of shit that he is, and come to family (most likely you) for help getting out.

eberk87 · 2013-12-25T20:25:48+00:00

Stone Cold Stunner gets my vote.

redpill_man · 2013-12-25T17:59:24+00:00

I usually wouldn't get involved in something like this unless it was a very close family member like my sister. Luckily her boyfriend is a cool dude.

As far as this situation goes if I was at a family gathering and he was talking shit about my family I'd probably get in his face to defend my family's honor. This may, or may not be the right thing to do, but I know that's how I would react. The problem with these situations is that, despite your cousin being abused she doesn't want anybody's help. It's a pretty shitty situation all around.

Laughing_Jelly_Bean · 2013-12-25T18:05:00+00:00

If he's not saying these things in front of you, then it's just gossip. Don't react to gossip.

If you do hear him say these things, do whatever you want. There's no right answer here.

648262 · 2013-12-25T22:15:23+00:00

Why is he invited at all?

[deleted] · 2013-12-27T17:58:34+00:00

I'd make sure they weren't invited to anything. If she's dumb, I wouldn't want to be around her and the garbage she drags in.

[deleted] · 2013-12-28T18:40:16+00:00

This is departing from red pill discussion topics cause dealing with people like this is very different than handling your own situations.

Not sure how to provide advice here, might be time for an intervention and police involvement.

Otherwise, if she won't change, you can't make her. It'll just waste your time (your most valuable commodity) on a situation that you can't control.

[deleted] · 2013-12-25T17:56:15+00:00

Why even go?

Title	How to treat a wife-beater at a family gathering?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	4
Comments	20
Date	December 25, 2013 5:51 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/1tola9/how_to_treat_a_wifebeater_at_a_family_gathering/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-treat-a-wife-beater-at-a-family-gathering.196097 https://theredarchive.com/post/196097

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