What makes a man a "good man" for a RP relationship?

TempestTcup · 2014-04-09T18:23:55+00:00

The opposite of a bad man; he doesn't lie, cheat, steal, he goes to work, he loves you, he upholds his responsibilities, he treats you well while not putting up with any crap, etc.

how flexible should you be if certain traits aren't fully met?

What? Like if he lies cheats and steals? You should not be flexible at all.

Now, if you mean traits like tall, handsome, charming, good dresser, popular with the ladies, rich, and all those things women list on the dating sites, those things aren't what makes a man good.

OccamsUsername · 2014-04-09T18:58:11+00:00

You have to identify what's really important to you. There are certain hallmark qualities that I've always needed to feel happy, and there attributes that I only became aware of after I started dating my SO:

Confident (he is secure as a man, doesn't need to cut other people down in order to feel better, knows he is a good catch without turning into an jerk, he is comfortable taking the lead and making decisions)
Responsible (financially, morally, follows through on commitments etc)
Trustworthy
Comfortable with affection (he likes keeping me close to him in public, enjoys holding me in private etc)
Honest (he'll tell people what they need to hear, and not just what they want to hear)
Balances compassion and logic - tailors his responses according to the situation, never yells or becomes outwardly angry
Has a sense of humor

There are a few more items on my list, but keep in mind, that's exactly what it is - a list tailored to my needs. Your list may be different.

That said, I wanted to touch on something very important - while it's fine to have a list for potential romantic interests, you should also have a list that details what you bring to the table. What makes you deserve a good man? What traits will a man have to compromise on if he were to date you? It's important to remember that you're not perfect, everyone falls short somewhere. Many women simply assume they deserve a great man...even if they're not great women. How flexible should a man be if you don't meet certain traits on his list?

Remember there are two sides to this equation. Evaluate yourself (realistically) first - before you start writing down attributes you think any man interested in you should have.

[deleted] · 2014-04-09T21:49:18+00:00

Well, it all depends on what you want.

When the SO and I initially got together, he was rather "BP" and I was a dirty, loud, non-makeup-wearing-feminist. Over the years things have changed. I lost a ton of weight, found my femininity, and just started acting differently. My SO changed a lot, too. He started working out, got promoted to a management position, cut off his long hippy hair, and controls the finances [THANK JESUS]. I deal with the house and everything in it, he deals with the manly things, and there is stuff that we do together.

A good man to me is somebody who does not lie, truly cares about you, is willing to change for the better, holds up his end of the deal, is funny, and cares about his appearances & health. You know, you're spending the rest of your life with somebody. Things may change in the dynamic of the relationship. The best advice I ever heard was "treat him like the man you want him to become", do not berate him, and never air out your dirty laundry. Good luck, OP.

valleycupcake · 2014-04-10T06:23:11+00:00

It was once explained to me that a woman has to shop for her man like she would her dream home. She considers her budget (SMV) and her a list of must haves, would likes, and deal breakers before she even starts looking at the market. If she doesn't find the right one right away, it's better to invest in growing her budget and continue looking rather than settle for something that is merely passable.

[deleted] · 2014-04-09T19:36:51+00:00

Be attractive to the type of man you want to attract. Because others recognize the value you contribute and respond to it. It takes more of a passive game for you because your form of putting yourself out there is not active like a man's.

Beyond that, look for a whole person. Who has matured, been through life, been through challenges and has overcome them. Who is committed to a life of growth, discovery, and living out those values through passionate and dedicated action. The rest you can sort out over time.

Aeternitas_ · 2014-04-09T17:18:30+00:00

Well, there's a difference between someone who's a good man (beta) and someone who's good at being a man (alpha).

For a marriage, you'd want a man with a mix of both traits. Whether you prefer more of the former or the latter really depends on your own personality, though. A strong woman will be drawn to an even stronger man, while a weaker woman will usually fit better with a provider/father type. It's really subjective.

Title	What makes a man a "good man" for a RP relationship?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	24
Comments	17
Date	April 9, 2014 4:29 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/22m8zc/what_makes_a_man_a_good_man_for_a_rp_relationship/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/what-makes-a-man-a-good-man-for-a-rp-relationship.197134 https://theredarchive.com/post/197134

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