TL;DR - I'm new. I had some feels reading NMMNG. I'm looking for a mentor from this sub as I move forward into TRP.

Perspective

I found TRP and its related subreddits via the random button. I am 27, former military, married for three years.

I've had a sinking feeling for about two years that I am not respected by my wife. I think this is actually a projection of my own disrespect for myself onto her. When I finish hashing myself out I'll know for sure.

I started lifting this last Monday (again, I stopped for a long while). I've started leangains (two weeks ago). As the title says, I just finished NMMNG for the first time. I've been reading the TRP subreddits for about a week now.

Impressions of NMMNG

Talk about an illuminating experience. I spent a lot of time on introspection the last few days (it took me three days to finish the book). The most impactful moment I had was when I realized just how much my self worth relies on other's judgement. I imagined myself chained to those I love, meathooks shoved through them, just so I could find some value in myself. I immediately followed that image with one of myself pulling the hooks loose, weighing anchor, and casting myself free. Since then I've had almost a perpetual smile on my face.

Where to next?

I'll be reading through NMMNG again and beginning my changes with my spouse by discontinuing some covert contract behaviours I have. I'm going to offer my wife NMMNG to read. If she reads it, I'll explain what I'm doing. If she doesn't, I won't. Once that's done, I'll be implementing the rest of NMMNG over however long it takes to get through it again.

If you've read this much: know that I'm looking for one or more people who've done this before that I have knowledgeable people to lean on as I push forward.

[edit]To focus more on myself.[/edit]