New to MRP - Losing frame to pregnant wife

UEMcGill · 2015-03-13T12:52:09+00:00

Becoming a dad is an awesome point in a married mans life. Our "Provider, protector" circuits kick in. We want to make sure everyone is safe and comfortable. Unfortunately this can come off as super beta.

So in your new found frame, I say 2 things: Fake it till you make it. Force it if you have to. Be a caregiver not a caretaker.

Your wife is going to be a crazy emotional tornado. Be a rock for her storm. Slow down and take 2 breaths when she gets crazy, then be strong. By being a caregiver in this situation she'll respect you and feel more loved than if you enable her shit. Go out and do something for the baby with your hands. Build a bassinet, paint the room, what ever. That kind of shit is gold to a wife and will focus your attention on being a man. Remember everyone is better when you maintain frame, and that's why we do it.

RBuddDwyer · 2015-03-13T13:17:35+00:00

Your frame is more important now more then ever. If you do not maintain control of the relationship, your child is going to grow up with the wrong idea about relationships. If you want your child to grow up with the right idea about relationships, then you need to maintain your frame

Nothing changes on your end during pregnancy; just expect more intense ~~moose~~ mood swings from her and be a bit more forgiving when she flips out.

Sepean · 2015-03-13T12:41:39+00:00

You had everything together, she gets pregnant and you lose it.

Do you have an idea what it is that made you lose frame?

Are you anxious about getting a baby and having to be the father and the responsibility of that? Are you culturally indoctrinated to treat mothers in a certain way, that they are saints and not for sex? Are you afraid she'll get leverage over you because of your emotional attachment to the coming child?

She's just pregnant. You might need to make some changes later on and when the baby comes, but nothing has changed yet. Except inside your head.

[deleted] · 2015-03-13T13:17:50+00:00

Best thing to do is not let what she says get to you. I went through a phase where anything negative my wife said to me I'd automatically respond with anger. She KNEW how to get to me, but I figured out how to blow off that shit test and things are getting better.

[deleted] · 2015-03-13T14:21:17+00:00

I started giving her a lot of free passes, and clearly none of us are happier this way.

You have your answer.

I need help in being able to be caring (as opposite to asshole alpha) whilst not being BB.

It's not exclusive to your answer. Stop giving free passes. You should use your best judgment on whether it's a free pass or a legit concern. Be open to listening to her if/when she tries to convince you that you're wrong. Sometimes you can be.

My wife is at 4 months. I expect her to act like an adult. But I know that her body is undergoing huge changes. Sometimes I have to scale back. Sometimes things probably suck for her. That's not an excuse for her to act disrespectful or shitty, because I know that will KILL our relationship.

I've actually made explicit mention of the fact that the most important aspect is to continue to recognize that were married for a reason, and that we should continue to prioritize each other, even over the child. The truth is, if she's not making my life better, I'm less inclined to care. If I'm caring less, I'm contributing less.

BluepillProfessor · 2015-03-13T15:20:15+00:00

Don't give her free passes! This creates feelings of terror in your pregnant wife. Be the rock. Think of your child. Your wife is just the vessel and yes, it is cool that she can pop out a baby like that BUT more than anything she needs consistent, strong, masculine, and caring leadership.

You are pedastalizing her and it is a natural emotion. She is putting out huge levels of hormones designed to manipulate you in exactly that way. That is where your Sex Drive went BTW.

Also, you obviously have the Madonna-Whore complex and now that your wife is a Madonna you have trouble thinking of her as the dirty, nasty, deep pounding whore that she really wants to be. If you are a good Catholic, read the Song of Songs, Bro. Everything you need is in there. Hard dread, Alpha behaviors, and girls dripping to the tiles hoping to see their lover.

TLDR: If you make a woman your life she will destroy it. She doesn't want to be put on a pedestal above you. Don't do it. Lead, be the man. Fuck her good.

strategos_autokrator · 2015-03-13T12:16:22+00:00

What books have you read from the sidebar so far? Which Scenario are you in the beginners guide?

[deleted] · 2015-03-13T19:23:26+00:00

My only advice: prenatal paternity test

Title	New to MRP - Losing frame to pregnant wife
Author	WPoOTRP
Upvotes	4
Comments	25
Date	March 13, 2015 12:00 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/2ywh5r/new_to_mrp_losing_frame_to_pregnant_wife/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/new-to-mrp-losing-frame-to-pregnant-wife.202362 https://theredarchive.com/post/202362

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