Been with my LTR for one year, we cohabitate. I recently spent a month abroad; came home and she basically left work early and wouldn’t leave me a line for a week, despite the fact I was puking my guts out and shitting water due to travelers Diarrhea.

Dynamics to this point have generally been good, excepting one fight where I put her on the couch for raising her voice at me. She quickly got her shit together and it was smooth sailing since... until yesterday.

We had planned to spend a day together cooking a feat of our favorite meal. This was the topic of our texting for the better part of three weeks while I was away and a large shopping trip when Abi got home. The night before yesterday I get a text from her while she’s working saying “I thought you might want more time for yourself so I’m going to a clothing swap on the evening of the [day we had planned], won’t be more than an hour.

I explained that I didn’t fly home a week early to hang out by myself. She said she thought she’d taken too much of the time this week.

That night I got my brains fucked out in the living room and dining room.

That morning in bed I get turned down “just cause you’re feeling better doesn’t mean I am”

Two hours later, after tossing myself off, I’m basically cooking a whole Christmas dinner by myself. She doesn’t even offer to help, instead watching TV and smoking weed in the living room. I’m pissed and confront her. “Did you think I was going to cook everything by myself for you to eat? I thought we were going to spend the day making this together”

She is (acts?) dumbfounded. “I thought you wanted to do your Zen thing and be left alone”. “I’m sorry for the miscommunication” and she leaves for four hours to get her car fixed.

Comes home after most of the food is done, I explain I’m disappointed in her and mad at her and then basically ignore her to watch a documentary series I’m interested in. She cracks quickly and repeatedly tries to engage. Toward the evening she “apologizes for today not being what you expected”. At 6pm she gets ready to go to her swap meet and starts complaining about my car being in front of the house. “Why don’t you put yours in the garage, then?” “Because I hate walking from the garage” “ok put mine in the garage I don’t care.” Then she goes on about how taking up multiple spaces on the street is unfair to neighbors “Ok what do you want to see happen, be specific.” “I want your car in the garage.” “Then how about asking me to put my car in the garage instead of this passive shit?”

She asks, I say I’ll do it when I get to it. Then she has to twist the knife... “I’ve been asking you for three days.”

“You asked me once theee days ago when you came home and took your anger out on me for hating your job.”

“I’m leaving” and she leaves.

Now here’s the punchline... she doesn’t come home till midnight. For what she said would “be quick”. I text her at 11 and say “I assume you aren’t coming home tonight, I’m locking up.” To which she quickly responded “I fully intend to come home”, no explanation of where she is or what she’s doing.

And I wake up this AM and she’s snuggled against me in bed.

This obviously needs to be addressed. What to do?