707,481 posts

Divorced Dad Red Pill?

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July 4, 2018
11 upvotes

A short background on me that's not a field report on the marriage. A father in his early 30s, absorbed PUA in the 00s, discovered T/MRP about four years ago while married. Divorced. Still lurked MRP in addition to TRP. Changed reddit name (new beginnings and all).

I've noticed that TRP often skews young and doesn't have much dialogue or considerations of kids and ex's that you can't ghost; and MRP obviously skews towards a context of a being in a LTR. Divorced dads exist somewhere between single and married men. We have the highest rate of suicide and in general fall the fuck apart, and I'm not convinced that TRP or MRP can be the locker room we need.

I understand that the easy answer here is: "rework your mission and keep on keepin' on." Yeah, that's the advice I could've worked with, but I think there's a large subset of men that found T/MRP too late and are caught in the chaos of grieving their marriage, grieving their shattered Matrix, and struggling with single life with kids all at the same time.

Perhaps a dedicated subreddit is overkill because the base information already exists in T/MRP, but I think a space dedicated for divorced dads, new and old, to exchange strategy and applications of theory could be valuable. Hell, the insights might even serve as a warning to the younger guard of T/MRP.

Are there existing posts on divorced dad strategies? I couldn't find any.

Thoughts?

Edit: lol y'all, I'm fine, thanks for the concern. I've navigated this whole thing incredibly well, thanks to taking the pill early enough. It just seems like this is a niche that might be underserved; I'm sure there's room in TRP and MRP for a few divorced dad specific posts... Managing Your Baby Mama, etc. Sure I could contribute some, but I'd like to consume as well.


Post Information
Title Divorced Dad Red Pill?
Author RPGivesYouWings
Upvotes 11
Comments 18
Date 04 July 2018 03:44 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/204248
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/8w2l4m/divorced_dad_red_pill/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
ghostinglong term relationshipthe red pillPUAfield report
Comments

[–]mrpthrowa10 points11 points  (4 children) | Copy

It's the same, dude.

Lift, get ripped, have a frame, keep communication with ex to logistics about kids. And move on.

Don't define yourself as "divorced", your frame is already fucked.

you're a high value man, who made mistakes in the past. You're not going to get married again, and you're going to live your life where women will have to earn the right to stay by your side.


2 weeks ago I had my 9 year old son for a Saturday. We were returning from a city where we had a blast. I enter the train station to get tickets, and he's running around so I order him to take a seat. As I do that, in the seat next to him is this early 20s HB9 hottie eyes me up and down quickly once with The Look. Girls can't help themselves. I don't think much of it get the tickets and by the time I come back she's already gone.

We get to the train, boy runs to find a sweet spot (subconsciously finds me hotties? who knows, I love the boy). I sit next to him and surprise surprise HB9 is sitting across from us. I don't pay her much attention, she is clearly part of a larger group of people. Eventually my son is busy looking out the country side, I look across and she is making extended eye contact. She breaks it off first.

I say fuck it, and say something lame "Looking tired, long day?", so she starts talking about how she got up at 4AM, they walked like a lot, she loves architecture, blablablabla. She is learning English visiting from Switzerland with this group, and leaving in 48 hours. Bingo! yes she wants quick sweet foreign dick.

She asks what I'm doing tonight. I say I'm dropping the kid to his mom. I did not have time for her that night.

This way I explicitly told her that I am his father, I hinted that I am divorced or have a past with this woman or whatever.

I acted absolutely completely normal like it's the most normal thing in the world. Why the fuck not? I am a high value bull who spreads his semen everywhere. I in absolutely no way looked embarassed, like I needed to DEER, or anything of the sort. I acted absolutely complete normal, cocky even.

Then I tell her, tomorrow after work I am cooking my evening meal and have some time. I tell her I'm gonna give her my number and to call me if she's interested.

The entire discussion her group was looking over and listening flabbergasted. Some of whom are just plain jealous of her.

She says oh she is part of this group and it depends on what they will do blabla..

I just say "of course", and shrug my shoulders. Then I write my number on a piece of paper she gave me and sign it "Train guy".

Then we carry on a light hearted discussion about her visit. we break it off.

The entire train journey took ~ 1 hour. As we leave this woman from the group next to her just asked her out astonished "did he just ask you out?" with this admiring look. She wished it was her I'm sure.

following day lunch time this text arrives in my phone... "Train girl here. Coffee in the city centre this afternoon?"

Yeah... coffee, to my place, dinner, fuck.

Over.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

This is truth OP.

I met a chick off Bumble last Friday for coffee. Today at 3pm my kids mom decides she wants the kids tonight.

NBD. She is their mom. So I text Bumble chick and say:

“Change of plans. I am kidless tonight so I am going “here” to have some Tacos. Ill be there at 8, if you are kidless come join me” I know she has kids.

Immediate reply, not sure let me check. 5 more texts telling me how she is tracking down a sitter, etc. none of which I respond to.

Finally she responds about 30 mins after my original text with, “yes, I am in”

I finally respond, “great see you then”

I am hungry and want tacos. 🤷🏻‍♂️

She jumped through who knows how many hoops to dump her kids off with someone else on short notice, just to come see me.

On 4th of July. Wanna bet she dumped them on their Dad?

And you are worried about divorce?

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I'm a dick, but part of me would laugh if some Simp would take the kids to show her what a good dad he could be

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Bahhh

I didn’t even think of that possibility.

Gotta say, my abundance mentality has felt pretty low lately. Fucking Shelly on the reg is one thing.

Pulling random tail via an app where they do 95% of the work? Not a doubt in my mind I can/will be balls deep in this woman later tonight.

Is it wrong I am using this woman who I have absolutely no intention of committing to, for my sole benefit of confidence rebuilding? /s

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I plug it often Dr. Mistons 'Why women have sex'

you'll never feel bad about selfish fucking again

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

How is it any different? Same principles apply. The vast majority of guys that find TRP/MRP need to seriously shore up their own shit. Success has less to do with women and more to do with recognizing they turned into a fat, lazy, drifting, beta and understanding that THEY are their biggest obstacle to success w/ women.
A divorced Dad might find more success w/ TRP since they need to learn to not care as much about all the emotional baggage they carried for women. MRP is for guys that have realized they want a companion and how to do that without compromising their values.
Edit: forgot to mention, divorced Dads probably have the best chance for success with women moving forward, provided they were worth a shit as a leader/Dad/coach. If you are an engaged Dad and your kids follow instructions, you’ve basically mastered how to lead and treat women. The single most powerful way to pass 98% of their shit tests is to treat them like one of your young kids. Tantrum? We are not having that behavior; time out for you. Talking back/ disrespectful attitude? Not a chance, lea r some manners while I withdraw my attention.

[–]triclops414 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm mostly in same boat as you.

My perspective: being the best father you can be is most important. And being the best father means modeling all the things you want your kid/s to think of when they think of being a man.

Doing that will force you to confront all your shit because you don't want to pass it along to a kid. It forces you to stop doing the wrong things, but also start doing the right things.

Be who you want your son to be/ who you want your daughter to be with.

And I can attest to being a divorced dad not mattering even a little too women. They just want to finally be with a real man.

I am also of the opinion that MRP is closer to "grown man RP" in reality. It isn't just, or even primarily about marriage, but leading a family.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

that is a new space. Realize even the married/single RP types are skewed 10:1. The divorced guys are a small subset of that small subset.

And fortunately for you, you're one of the front runners. Wish I had the ability to point you to a unified theory, you guys will just have to get togehter and do what everyone else has done to get these two spaces up to speed.

Field reports, swap notes, and report findings, build theories from it and take it from there

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I am going thru the divorce process now. I posted on it over in the main sub. Just look at my post history to figure it out.

Bottom line is, the rules are all the same. Be a high value man, be attractive and they will come.

It has took me 5 mins to create a Bumble/Tinder profile. I get 5-10 matches a week. There is no shortage of pussy out there.

And if you are grieving the loss of your marriage, well then you have not internalized the fact that YOU ARE THE PRIZE.

[–]wkndatbernardus1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Amen to this. Grieving the loss of what, your prison cell? That's some Stockholm Syndrome shit right thur.

[–]343800 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Not all marriages are all bad.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The mantra is; The stay plan is the same as the go plan.. So it doesn't really seem to matter if your married, divorced, or single. Its the same goals/mission...

[–]youcantdenythat0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

There is a RedPillParenting reddit sub but it's mostly dead.

I'm also a divorced dad in my 40s. I was spinning plates. Now I have a ltr that isn't very serious, been 3 years but don't plan on having her move in. If she ever starts drama I'll ghost her.

I'm pretty happy with my life now. Spinning plates is probably best for the beginning until you get some more practice with women.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's not dead, it's just that no one provides enough value to grow it

yet

This is why the mod team here is big on providing value. know how many subreddits die because of too many leeches?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're not special.

[–]weakandsensitive0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Have you tried r/realalpha?

grieving their marriage, grieving their shattered Matrix, and struggling with single life with kids all at the same time.

And you wonder why whiny men get no respect. SMH.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Any man can benefit from MRP. It’s just TRP on hard mode.

[–]quentinthequibbler0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’m in the same boat. Grieving is pretty much over. Luckily I did get my relationship with my kids right before I dissolved the marriage. We do have to hold a lot more tension. I’m also not young and you can feel a lot of the youth in many posts.



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