A Man’s Frame
Full blog post here:
Usually, if someone says the words "a man's frame," the reader automatically thinks about the physical (body) frame. But, that is not the kind of frame we are going to discuss here. Men are naturally masculine, and some are naturally more or less masculine than others. This is a fact.
Men also have mental and emotional constructs that can be sturdy or can be like the house build on sand and crumble at even the smallest challenge, particularly from the opposite sex.
This is the frame I am referring to for this blog entry - a man's mental and emotional frame. Just like a man's physical frame can be strong or weak, his mental and emotional frame can be strong or weak
Sometimes, a man's frame can become weakened by years of betaization in a long-term relationship. Betaization refers to a man becoming less alpha and more beta over the course of a relationship.
The betaized man can become very defensive when challenged, even on the smallest challenge where he might be better off either ignoring (choosing battles wisely), *agreeing and amplifying(making a joke out of the challenge), or simply using Amused Mastery** .. perhaps a smile and a change of subject.
When a man goes into defensive mode, he may think he is strengthening his frame, but in actuality he is weakening it. The opposite sex can sniff out such a weakness like a dog on a prairie, and if a man is defending trivial topics and challenges, it only shows that he is not strong enough to ignore it, joke about it, or just change the subject. It also makes him boring and too serious.
So, the first thing a man needs to learn to strengthen his frame is STFU. Shut the fuck up I'm not talking about going mute and pouting for the whole day. That's no fun, and we want to have fun after all, and if we are fun it is also contagious. I'm talking about ignoring trivial challenges and changing the subject.
As a side note, it is important to note that the woman subconsciously **wants•• the man to pass these tests. It reinforces that she has a man of high value.
At first, this may make the man's long term relationship (LTR) or marriage partner uneasy since it is a change, and it is likely his partner will want to know if his newly found frame is for real. Thus, further testing is very likely. The man should be ready for more advanced testing from different angles.
So, the man should continue to practice STFU until the man can master it, and then the man can move onto other, more advanced ways of strengthening his frame. However easy this sounds, practicing it in a LTR can be much more challenging than imagined since his partner is likely to know all the right buttons to push to get him back on the defensive side again.
What does a man do when he fails to STFU and falls into defending trivial arguments? He should just get back on the horse, and continue to practice STFU, and change the subject.
Through time and practice the man actually learns how to do this without appearing "butt hurt." This is actually the real sign of progress. A man can try to fake not being butt-hurt, but he must be honest with himself as to whether or not he is butt-hurt or not because again... his partner will smell it from a mile away just based on body language, tone, and other nonverbal cues that thousands of years of evolution have afforded the opposite sex. Yes, I am saying that women are better at reading social cues
There is a lot more to this subject, but STFU is the most logical starting point.. I will discuss some other frame strengthening techniques in future blog posts.
The goal is not to have a "bag of tricks," but rather to internalize a genuine strong frame, and that is where a strong frame begins to become effortless. However, a man must be willing to put in work and practice since he is likely to be beat down by years of betaization and emasculation... and it is is own fault
After all, in order to stay strong in any sport (as an analogy), a person must continually practice that sport. Such is the same with Frame. Where a strong masculine frame may have come naturally to a man, he may become weakened through lack of practice over months or years.
It is not a woman's fault or anyone else's fault when a man becomes betaized. Again, I will emphasize that a woman will want her man to pass these tests subconsciously, and as the man passes more tests, he becomes stronger and of higher value as a man
A man must take full responsibility for his state of mind and frame for that matter.. This is also a potential topic of future blogs.
The bottom line is as men we must learn to (OYS), own your shit. Period. You are the master of your destiny, and you are where you are because the actions you have taken.
So, start making a change today by practicing STFU because trivial challenges do not mean anything in the grand scheme of things. Put trust in the process that I have followed, and you will eventually find great results. And, I have found that STFU is the first step in building your new frame.
Build your frame on a solid foundation, not sand foundation... lest the frame will crumble, and the house will fall.