27yo. 6 foot. 213lb. 8% bf.

Me and my wife got into it tonight. We are moving in to a new place together. And she had been talking to me rude and disrespectful for some weird reason. The only other time she had done this was a couple years ago when I was beta as fuck and knew I wouldn't leave. I stopped her and told her just bc we are signing a lease together doesn't mean she can act and talk to me however she wants. I have changed drastically and left since then to get my shit together. After that she rarely acted out of place. But now since we signed a lease together I don't want her thinking she can act anyway and I'll be stuck bc I Will leave if she starts that shit again.

Anyway when I said that, She acted like she didn't know what I was talking about and started yelling. I wasn't going to argue with her and listen to her call me an idiot. so I just left. There's a festival near my house that we planned to go to. So I just got my things. Said I'm going to the fest and left. She started to call my phone nonstop so I shut it off.

Met up with some friends and got some food. Ironically enough a chick with my friends Was flirting with me nonstop, she was drunk and honestly I was stand offish her but she didn't care. Kept touching me and telling me to stop ignore her and shit testing me and all that stuff. About an hour later I came back and turn on my phone. I have 10 missed called a text that says that, me ignoring her calls is fucking up our relationship. And a text from another friend who said they saw her at the fest looking for me.

I text her, "I'm back home. You can come back whenever you have a clear head."

She comes back I act fine. Go to put on some tv and she tells me she wants to talk to me before I put anything on. I say okay.

We talk and I let her know my boundaries for when we get this new place. Along with some other back and forth talk about where I expect the relationship to be going and what I expect from her. She kept trying to bring us past things but I told her Those things have been corrected (immature behavior and fuck ups on my part.) that I'm with her and we're focusing on the future. Everything was said that needed to be said and then she goes, and one more thing.

"Idk how many time I have to say this but Stop flirting with women in front of me. Bc I will flip out not only on them but in you."

I say "and then you will be single"

Now there's mixed signals on here about this. I read some post that say flirt in front of your wife. And others they say don't do it. I never read one about what to do if she brings it up.

Now to be fair I have been single and flirted with all women my whole Life. I used to get laid a lot before I met her. I have a charm to me. So I can't completely shut it off.

But for the sake of the relationship and becoming a better captain. I toned it down Drastically. Esp when I'm with her. So I didn't know wtf she was even talking about bc I was making sure I would show her off when a woman would flirt with me. Etc. I didn't do anything inappropriate.

I asked her who I was flirting with. And she brought up a good friend of mine who is married to my good buddy. I laughed bc I don't even want this chick if I was single. She tells me she always flirts with me.

I tell her that's not my control. She tells me I should be shutting it down. I find this ridiculous because I don't think my interactions with this girl are inappropriate. So I say. Yes I want to leave you for her. You caught me /s.

Then she starts to name other girls who she says I flirt with some of which are her friends who I'm nice to because they are her friends

So my questions are:

  1. Am I supposed to be flirting in front of her. I haven't been honestly I've just been my nice outgoing self. I'm not going to be a dick to ppl just because she wants me to.

  2. When she tells me to stop flirting in front of her how am I to respond to this?