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[–]creating_my_life2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
It's not a shit test. It's a comfort test.
I'd say something along the lines of, "My needs are met in this marriage and I'm happy. If that changes, I have enough character to end this marriage rather than cheat. You'll be the first to know." This simultaneous assures her but doesn't let her off the hook. NEVER say something like, "I'd never cheat on you.", because that means she doesn't have to try any more. You're not a doormat.
IF it was a shit test, and it would be a lot more playful and not serious, "I bet you have some redhead sluttie waiting for you", then you could play if off with AM or A&A. "Nah, nobody is waiting. I just get a stewardess from the plane when I get there." etc, you get the idea.
[–]this_weeks_account2-1 points0 points1 point 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
What if I'm not happy, and she knows it?
[–]creating_my_life2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You own your happiness. That's what EVERYTHING in the sidebar says. Sounds like you need to reread the basics and start busting your ASS to make yourself happy. Why aren't you happy? What can you do about it? Start DOING it!
That being said, it's still the correct answer, because it frames YOUR values and what YOU want out of the marriage. Women are the gatekeepers to sex, men are the gatekeepers to relationships.
Are you working on a MAP? Do you post in OYS?
[–]justpickanyusernameRed Beret1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Comfort. You realize that chicks cheat on Chad too? The dynamics in this scenario work a little differently than what we typically see here in MRP. The girl shuts down and checks out because she feels she can't ever satisfy Chad. She finds a beta that understands and listens to her and makes them feel all warm and fuzzy. If the beta plays his cards right he ends up with his dick inside her before all is said and done. If he is not a complete man it will never work long term.
Be her oak. You've got to give her tingles and comfort.
[–]anythingincRed Beret0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
She is accusing you of cheating because you are home all the time and thus have the opportunity.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AMA/comments/6eu6ak/stay_at_home_dad_ama/
I respect childcare and stay-at-home-dads...but does your wife? Does she expect more shit done at the end of the day? Does society say she is supposed to be fair and equal and thus can't say shit about a man staying home instead of working...so she finds something tangential that she can needle you about until you get a job that occupies your day?
Try this...
Fucked off all day
You cheat on me? Uhmm no?
You cheat on me?
Uhmm no?
Obvious busy day full of stuff and shit got done
You cheat on me Lol when did I have the time
You cheat on me
Lol when did I have the time
Trick question, you AA in the first scenario, and she wouldn't have even asked in the second scenario.
[–]stonepimpletilists 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yup. Theres this unwritten rule. That women don't want equality, they want to look up to you. And as it's written, a SAHD doesn't give the same street cred as the working man.
But they cannot say that, so they find the side door instead.
The funny part, since she cannot see the latter, she will always assume the former. It's like having shitty college roommates. They remember 100% of the time they do the dishes. They see 0% of the time you do the dishes. Ergo, you're a lazy fuck who never does the dishes.
[–]anythingincRed Beret0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
When you see the [deleted] you know somebody hit too close to home.
[–]stonepimpletilists 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Jesus, I didn't even prod this guy. Crumbled like a sack of wet dicks
[–]rejonkulous1 point 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I used to think that she must be deflecting. But that was my hamster going ape-shit. She wasn't fucking me, so by default she was fucking someone else. the accusations drove me nuts. quite possibly the maddest she has gotten me was from these fights. and my inner voice was screaming how could you fucking think I was cheating, I just did x,y and z for you.-read covert contract. hell I even tried to explain my thought process. now, are you cheating is met with a smile(possibly a hug and kiss to the forehead, as well) and the truth, NO. nothing more. we have discussed in the past that in the event of.... just end the relationship. idk or care if that was a mutual thing or just for me. this topic has rented way too much space in my head in the past for me to give a fuck about now. She will do what she wants, I will keep improving. also, I now see those accusations as proof that I am moving in the right direction.
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[–]creating_my_life2 points3 points4 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]this_weeks_account2-1 points0 points1 point (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]creating_my_life2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]justpickanyusernameRed Beret1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]anythingincRed Beret0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]stonepimpletilists 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]anythingincRed Beret0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]stonepimpletilists 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]rejonkulous1 point [recovered] | Copy Link