The short of it: a friend introduced me to MRP, it made sense, so I implemented my MAP right away and gave it a shot. This was after we didn't have sex for four months. I know that isn't a lot of people and some of you guys have gone years without fucking, but it was enough to drive me crazy. Married for two years (together for four). We do not have kids yet but that is what I want, so we are going to start on that soon. I'm 34, she's 27.
I've been at this for eight months now. My frame is getting stronger and I refuse to go back to being beta. It's mostly now become "Your bullshit--no ones bullshit--effects me anymore." I think realizing that not only your wife is going to shit test you, but that EVERYONE shit tests you, is key. I read all the books on the side bar, absorbed it, read them again when I started slipping.
I lift now. I've put on a solid 15 lbs in the past eight months and she has loved all of it. In the time I've implemented my MAP she has done more things in bed with me than I thought she ever would. She's always been the shy girl type, so it is working, but I didn't do this for the sex. I am doing this because I want to be better. I want to make more money. I want to be bigger and stronger than the other dads. I don't want a dad bod. I want to be able to chase my kids and not run out of breath, pick up all the grocery bags at the same time and carry them in. This is for me. This isn't for anyone else.
I signed up for a gym membership and decided that instead of knowing my bartender and knowing the other bar flies, I want to be know at the gym. That is my community. I go to the gym for cycling, rock climbing, and yoga. I lift at home (built a home gym).
I've never done home improvement stuff. So now I watch home improvement videos on YouTube and I fix shit. That door that rubs on the carpet? Pull it off and sand the bottom so it doesn't drag and isn't a bitch to open. The backyard patio you don't like? Rip it up and build a new one. There is always something in the house that can be fixed or improved. Learn how to do it.
Right now the house is a mess (I keep on top of most of it by keeping a schedule of which room gets picked up that day on a rotating basis), but it's her mess. She's been shopping and buying Christmas presents, leaving them in bags around the house. The kitchen table was covered in crap the other day. She stopped cooking us dinner and looked at me "You need to clean your stuff off of the kitchen table."
Old me would have DEERed. "What do you mean? This is all your junk. Your shit has been all over the house all week. I am not going to touch any of it because you would yell at me that I messed up your system, or that something went missing, or you can't find something." This would end with me apologizing and cleaning it up. But only after we go to separate corners and I drink two or three beers.
Instead, I owned my shit. I said "You're right, I'll clean up my mess." I had a shit eating grin on my face and I just walked over to the table and picked up my hat that had been sitting there. "I'm done." And I held it up.
And do you know what she did? She went from pissy to giggling. Then she said "That isn't the only thing on the table that's yours." There was some other stuff there that was mine, I just hadn't notice. She walked over and was right in front of me about to start picking up my items. She started getting pissy again. "This is yours, this is yours." I replied back "Oh yeah, you're right." I picked her up (thank you deadlifts) and sat her ass on the table, grabbed her tits and said "These are mine too" and engaged in a ten second kiss. She pushed me away, giggled, and cleaned off the table.
The biggest thing I've learned is that you have to constantly be improving and never engage in bullshit because it's never over. You always have to pick up your hat.