First and foremost a bit of inspiration before puking all over the manosphere:
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. - Theodore Roosevelt
Print that out. 3 times. Hang it in the bathroom. Hang it in your office. Tattoo it on your dick. A daily reminder to get in the arena and man the fuck up.
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Almost 40 and I've been married 15+ years. Kids. Have struggled keeping a healthy sex life for all 15 years. Wife admits it. I admit it. Something has to change.
Needless to say, when i dropped in on TRP i immediately thought "it's too go to be true". Skeptical, but at the end of my rope, I started reading MMSLP in January. so thankful to have found MRP because it took to much effort applying principles of TRP to the married mans life.
I found that generally I've owned my shit. Certainly some alpha. Certainly some beta.
I'm in shape but don't lift. I'm stronger than most guys who aren't lifting, but not over weight. I did stop eating sugar and processed foods and lost a few pounds. At some point wifey jumped on the diet train and has lost 25 pounds with another 25 to go (not sure what motivated her to start dieting again).
Career is always on the up and up. I'm a successful guy in corporate America well into the low six figure income. Bored a few years back got into some online business and had quite a bit of side income coming in as well. I've always owned the family finances and keep a healthy budget in check.
Kids are well behaved - generally speaking. Lots of parents tell us that our kids are well behaved.
Wifey stays at home with the kids but has a passion which i support and help when/where i can.
Around the house I handle business. I fix shit all the time. I fix the cars, i fix the kids toys, i do random home improvement fixes for the wife.
Places that I noticed are lacking are in the leading department. Since finding the redpill I've tried to drop the "i don't cares" and make a decision. If the kids want to do something, i say yes or no. no more, "ask your mom".
A few months back, wifey asked me to go to a conference with her. sure! no kids, just wifey, i'm in. took off work, made the airfare, hotel and car rental arrangements. She packed up and when she wasn't looking I dropped in some of my favorite panties for her to wear and some massage oil. Long story short, the whole week was jam packed and ended up with no sexy panties, no massages, and one 5 minute sexy time right before we passed out before our 4 am flight. I was butt hurt. no questions about it. I didn't tell/show it though. I had read to much. Never mentioned another word about the trip or anything that happened or did not happen. Used this as fuel to keep improving.
At night instead of sitting with the wife, watching the news or generally wasting time I would clean up or fix stuff. read NMMNG and working on WISNIFG.
We had sex 2-3 weeks ago. Right afterwards I'm extra cuddly and touchy feely which she clearly notices and mentions. "see you're much more touch feely after sex" I didn't respond. I initiated sex the next 3-4 days and slowly stopped cuddles and touches. Then shark week.
During shark week i woke up one morning and said "i'm going to work out". she literally said "what just happened. you haven't worked out in 20 years." Be home an hour late and out the door. No resistance, just curiosity.
So its been 2+ weeks since we've had sex. Yesterday, she calls me at work tells me that she's taken a shower and the hour is near. I know what that means so i'm stoked. Get home and she has a skirt on for the first time in forever. I complement the skirt hoping for sexy panties...strike 1.
Get the kids situated and jump in the sac after 10 which i already know is a problem. DGAF and initiate. She says "are you trying to make it with me". "Yup. (strike 2. i haven't touched your body in 3 weeks and you going to ask me this?)" She says "make it quick it's getting late". STEEEEEEERIKE 3! Basically i took this as, Stop rubbing my tits and take my panties off and get this over with, it's after 10 and i'm tired. Slowly stopped the kino. she says "hey...i thought we were makin' it. you don't want to get up and get the stuff?" STFU waited a few minutes...watching tv. then rolled over and went to sleep. This morning...business as usual. So many things running through my mind.
What's the right play: Cave man? Which honestly I'm not quite sure how this goes. basically pump and dump and leave her needs by the way side? Starfish? Think i read enough on that yesterday to know that is a bad idea. * Conversation? Only thing I planned to say if it came up last night or this morning was "You clearly needed your sleep". I opted for STFU.
You can probably see the dysfunction - sadly I cannot. Help a brother in the arena.