Hi guys. I've been lurking for a while now. About a year ago, I had kind of a meltdown over being responsible for everything in our household. I told him I really wanted him to be the leader for us. I worked really hard on submitting to him on decisions, began asking his advice more and making a stronger effort to always respect him in front of the kids. (Not that I'm some evil bitch, but I now see that disagreeing with him about discipline in front of them was really wrong of me.).
Well, so it was working well for a few months. But for the past 6 months or so, he's been sliding back into "little boy" mode. I know it sounds harsh but he literally stays glued to the couch until I make him get up and be useful. He works from home and is self employed, so I even have to tell him to go work! I try saying, "What's the schedule today?" and whatnot, but he just shrugs and bounces it back to me. He's not depressed or anything, and he does sometimes get things done around the house (car stuff, home repairs, etc) but only if I have nagged him for a few days to a few weeks. I don't want to be his mother anymore! He claims to hate it when I boss him around, but he literally will not initiate anything in his life. He gets angry whenever he is prodded into action by me, but he won't do anything if I don't prod. (Including work. He worked about 6 hours one week when I tried not saying anything to him.)
He is a great guy and I know he wants to make me happy, but I've had the "Please step up so I am not having major anxiety over being in charge of everything" talk several times. He tries for a while and then forgets.
How can I point him in the right direction? He read MMSLP because I gave it to him lol and it has helped our sex life some. From reading here, I feel he has a lot of covert contracts and some passive aggressive stuff going on sometimes. But I would rather he do one thing of his own volition than three things because I nagged him. I always submit to him whenever I have the opportunity, but when I ask his opinion he immediately says, "I dunno. What do you want to do?". I understand that I play a part in this and I am eager to hear any advice you have about my behavior as well. Thanks.
EDIT: Is there anything specific he should read to help him be less passive? I know i am topping from the bottom as you put it UEMcGill haha. I know it's my own fault for disagreeing with him so much over the years, which makes me feel awful. Now I am working really hard to not push against him at all, but at the slightest hint of me saying " Have you considered option X?" and he agrees and swallows his own preferences and goes with option X. It's so frustrating!