To start off I have been lurking here for months. Probably since early last summer. At no point have I ever felt betrayed or angry with my wife or marriage with my new found information. I was very comfortable with all this new information from the very beginning. Maybe this is because we are a fairly young couple with no kids; I'm not sure. The only issue I had with this new lifestyle was implementing. I can literally look back on most interactions with my wife and dissect what I did wrong but in the moment it's extremely hard for me.

Anyways, me and the wife were on a road trip and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I had my moment. I asked her, "Do you think we should stop for gas at this next exit." As soon as the words fell out of my mouth I was stunned with the reality of my question. Why was I asking for permission with such a trivial question. Without even hearing her answer I thought to myself, "Shut your mouth, be a leader and make the decision. It doesn't take a committee to determine if you need gas or not." Asking for her permission is clearly making her the captain and me the 1st mate. Lesson learned. STFU and be a leader.

So me and the wife generally split the responsibilities of owning a dog. Before we went to bed it was her turn to take the dog outside for the night. Since it was cold outside she begged and pleaded for me to take out the dog. I stood firm and did not budge. But then she tried to start negotiating. She insisted she would take her out the next 2 nights, 3 nights and so on. Eventually the bribery turned into sexual offerings. Blow jobs and the sort. I looked at her quite simply and said, "listen, I don't negotiate sex for chores so the answer is still no." That was the end of it. She didn't get mad or anything. She took the dog out and came back in playful as ever. But am I doing something wrong here? Is this her way of initiating or gaining leverage? We didn't end up having sex that night but I also didn't initiate. And I didn't initiate because lately I'm just not that interested in sex and I'm not sure why. We are both fairly young, 26 and 25. Athletic, good looking people. So I guess my question is 2 parts, did I handle that test appropriately and should I look into my sex drive being so low?