My wife and I share our house with one of my coworkers due to my work situation at the moment. It's a huge house so generally it works out well but he's a bit of a manchild and struggles to keep up with chores/caring for the house/whatever.
So the other night we had friends over and he decided to interject himself into our conversation. He has pretty low level social skills and just doesn't know how to poke fun all in good fun and ended up striking nerves with both me and my wife. I'm just generally completely dissatisfied with my ability to handle situations like this. I'm a big guy, and I work out a ton, this kid would have a very bad night if I decided to actually get physical with him, but I work with the guy. We are part of a very small community and I don't need a reputation as that dickhead that throws punches if someone hurts his feelings. By the same token though I do not want to be a pushover who just sits there and loses respect from his wife because I'm letting some guy make stupid jokes.
My reaction last night was to get too angry, snap back at him, then remove myself from the situation to cool down so I didn't escalate it to a physical confrontation. He never directly attacked my wife as that's a hard line, but he did get pissy with her when she prodded back at him a bit. How does one handle shit like this and toe the line between overcompensating angry guy and submissive passive guy?
Wife clearly wants me to be up this guys ass today, telling him he can no longer use our things, etc etc. I feel thats an overreaction and am annoyed at her trying to direct me. I am feeling completely lost in how to take charge of this situation like a man and really need some guidance. I have no problem telling this kid to never fucking talk to us like that again, but I'm only recently unplugged and that's so far from my norm it seems extreme....
Thanks for any help