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Progress Update

Reddit View
August 18, 2015
8 upvotes

I'm mostly a lurker, but I just wanted to reiterate to folks that this stuff works. I hit a low point with my wife in January and decided shit had to change. Immediately found MMSLP, NMMNG and MRP, realized it was all MY fault, got my head straight, and then started quietly working my plan.

7 months later and I'm in the BEST shape of my life, I've almost totally recycled my wardrobe, i get deferred to on all decisions, I feel great, and I'm getting laid like tile.

Just a few days ago I was getting ready for work and the wife went into the whole "do you have a girlfriend" spiel (i don't). Later that day I got comfort tests texts about how I was fit and had these new clothes and she was a dumpy housewife. My SMV is definitely up and the wife is feeling it.

Sex has improved and happens as frequent as I like. When I came home from work today, the wife hops into my arms and says "take me upstairs". That shit NEVER happened pre-MRP!

To not be all roses and lollipops, there are some downsides. I feel a little more distant than I used to. I realize now that better and more frequent sex is not the panacea I'd hoped it would be. I don't really like having to make decisions about the kids that the wife just would have taken care of before. And I am much more likely to have opportunities and thoughts of infidelity. Still, I'm in the driver's seat and that's a good thing.

Thanks for the MRP community and the sense of personal ownership of your own shit ownership that gets preached here. My wife thanks you as well. :)


Post Information
Title Progress Update
Author Nodeal_reddit
Upvotes 8
Comments 9
Date 18 August 2015 01:49 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/208170
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/3he4fl/progress_update/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
sexual market valuecomfort testNMMNG
Comments

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I realize now that better and more frequent sex is not the panacea I'd hoped it would be.

This was the hardest realization for me- after absorbing the fact that every woman in my life had lied to me, repeatedly, of course.

Your post very well illustrates the downside of MRP/TRP. You think about infidelity a lot more. You also have a lot more chances at infidelity. Life on hard mode- no shit!

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don't really like having to make decisions about the kids that the wife just would have taken care of before

This is where the Captain/FO model is best. When she comes to you with one of those decisions, give her the mission intent speech. Subordinates in work and at home come for these little questions because they either lack trust in you or themselves.

My wife and I were having a discussion about the budget early on, so I gave her the mission intent speech. "Babe, the budget is first. If you have a question about keeping it in tact, it's budget first. The only time you should break the budget is if it's food for the kids. If you know or think the budget can't be made for a coming month (Party, Christmas etc) then plan for it way ahead of time. Either talk to me or start to squirrel it away..." after that talk she's become a real master at keeping in budget. She robs peter to pay paul but damn if she doesn't keep it under budget and still save for vacations etc. Here I was giving her the goal instead of the answer so she could easily form her own answer if I wasn't around.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I feel a little more distant than I used to. I realize now that better and more frequent sex is not the panacea I'd hoped it would be. I don't really like having to make decisions about the kids that the wife just would have taken care of before. And I am much more likely to have opportunities and thoughts of infidelity.

Heavy is the head that wears the Crown. All of my family's success is shared, I tell them it was them. All of our failures, I own and take full responsibility for.

I would rather be the King of my domain, the Man who bears the burden over the Jester who has no worries.

You have found success in the proven methods of TRP/MRP. Do not become complacent

[–]FearDearg2015Mod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I don't really like having to make decisions about the kids that the wife just would have taken care of before.

I hear you. This is why you need to cultivate some external hobbies, and male relationships. When you are with your family, "it's always on". You are constantly holding frame. You cannot relax your guard even for a second.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You cannot relax your guard even for a second.

I don't believe we're 'on guard' as your frame is you. You are always you, therefore there's no reason to view it as a burden or some sort of armor you're wearing.

You are always tactful, observing, and implementing controls to keep the family operating on a level that fosters an environment of Joy and Tranquility for all hands.

[–]RedCML0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I delegate daily decision-making regarding the children to my wife. I've asked her to handle all the daily stuff and not bother me at work. Simple things like deviating from the activity schedule, what to make them for breakfast, handling sass, etc. It's okay to empower the First Officer with the confidence to handle the tasks within her span of control.

I hear you about the sex. I can have sex with my wife whenever I want, within reason. It's not like my wife didn't want to the whole time. I just didn't know how to get it. Now that I do, it's usually good quality. My challenge to myself is that I want to have sex on my terms, not her's. Her conditions are boring and unexciting. Honestly, she enjoys it more under my terms because is more playful and flirty.

My response to the spontaneous "take me upstairs" would have been enthusiasm! I'm trying to instill spontaneity into our sex life. The kids are older and just want to be left alone most the time. So why not? I'd also respond saying, "Sweet, I've been thinking about a blowjob all afternoon!" Not seriously though; just to get that look saying, "That's not what I meant..."

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I feel a little more distant than I used to

I think this is a consequence of you being more actively observant. That will go as you get into this longer and you start reacting quicker without having to examine everything.

The flipside is you can get lazy once you reconnect. After a while tests start to creep back up in frequency, and then you have to dial back to observer mode. But now you're aware you can step back whenever you need.

[–]itstartstoday1230 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Later that day I got comfort tests texts about how I was fit and had these new clothes and she was a dumpy housewife. My SMV is definitely up and the wife is feeling it.

How are you responding to this? My wife knows this gym "kick" is no temporary phase now and I am getting similar comfort tests. I can't help but feel I could get more mileage off them.

Recent responses:

Her: are you gonna keep going to the gym?

Me:yes

Her: you are gonna make me look bad.

Me: I like going to the gym.

2nd example:

Her: why are you spending so much time at the gym?

Me: cause pumping iron is written into a man's blood.

Her:are you trying to make me look bad?

Me: I like lifting, it's not about you. (kiss on the forehead and walked away)

I should close with I don't feel like I have made any progress in the shitty comfort test area. Second admission: if she put divorce papers in front of me today I would sign them faster than they were printed out. I kind of don't give a shit about my wife except right after the on again off again sex we have.

Edit: I think I actually liked/loved her before i started this

[–]RPMahoutsukai0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I realize now that better and more frequent sex is not the panacea I'd hoped it would be.... I am much more likely to have opportunities and thoughts of infidelity.

I dunno about you guys, but I'm loving it! Yes, my situation is different, I'm not married, I'm divorced, but I've been monogamous all my life and couldn't change it even though I tried to spin plates (maybe it's for the best), so I'm in a commited LTR right now now, and I'd consider fucking someone else cheating, so I think it's close enough.

It's awesome to feel you have options! Like, you have this one chick fighting for your attention just after she spent one hour with you visiting an art exposition, if you wanted to you could also seduce that girl, etc., and you're not even trying, you just behave like you normally do and they fall for you! I don't regret the fact I'm tempted to fuck someone other than my SO. I don't regret the fact sex no longer this "oh shit I got lucky today" moment. Yes there was a brief period of boringness, but since then I've learnt to like this "I just get as much sex as I want" situation better.

I think the more you re-attune with your masculine self, the more you start to like this arrangement where you're in the driver seat. You learn to like making hard decisions, you learn to like having options, you learn to like responsibility.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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