How old are you and how familiar are you with RPW?

30, Fairly Familiar

What is your relationship status?

Married 8.5 years, together almost 11 years

What is the problem? (Don’t badmouth your SO!)

Fundamentally, I don’t think about sex much which leads to me not being sexy or seductive. What he wants is for me to initiate more, be sexier at home, and engage in sexting. I realized recently that the main issue currently with all of those is that I literally don’t think about it unless he initiates.

It doesn’t help that I’m both pregnant and on antidepressants, but this was an issue before either of those so I don’t think either are causal. But those factors are there.

If I do start thinking about sex, I can start to get tingly. So, what I need help with is how to make sex something I actually think about. Tricks and tips, that kind of thing.

How long has this been an issue?

Honestly, I’m not sure how to count. I never really thought much about sex away from my husband (some exceptions). Thanks to my fundamental Christian upbringing, sexual thoughts and masturbation were sinful and thus I did my best to not do those. I'm still Christian but not a fundamental protestant, in my denomination, that kind of thing is not discussed "from the pulpit" as much. Regardless, I guess I'm still carrying some of those hangups.

As a relationship issue: a couple of years.

What have you done to resolve this problem?

Honestly, I only realized recently that the core issue is that I literally don’t think about it. My first impulse was to come here. I was going to try to make something simple and small that I could add to just start doing something. I decided on a longer greeting kiss, but he told me today that it wasn’t really what he was looking for.

Do you have an active bedroom life? Average: sex 1-2x a week. Initiated by him.

Edit: formatting