How old are you and how familiar are you with RPW?

23, pretty familiar, been lurking and occasionally posting or a few years

What is your relationship status?

relationship of about 3 months

What is the problem? (Don’t badmouth your SO!)

in the first week or two of us knowing each other/going on dates, before we had discussed exclusivity or the bf/gf status, or before he had started staying over at my house, i went two big nights out and got a bit too drunk and kissed some random boys that i didnt really know or care about (nothing beyond kissing at all, it was all in public). To be clear I had absolutely no romantic feelings for them, I was just being really stupid and insecure and liked the attention.

He doesn't know these boys, and I pretty much haven't seen them since and dont expect to. This happened when bf and I had had about a few dates (maybe 2/3/4?) and kissed on the lips (again we hadn't gone beyond kissing).

As soon as bf started staying at my house i started focusing on him and no more of this happened, and this was still before exclusivity/bf/gf discussion, which happened a few weeks later. Three months down the line I absolutely adore my bf. I think he's attractive and I feel like I'm falling for him. He is the first guy I've had sex with, and gone beyond kissing. Before him, the most I'd done was kiss boys in public. I have been completely faithful to him since we became official.

I can't help but feel a little bit guilty about this? I was fine with it before but all of a sudden after watching a reality show with a situation distantly related to this I keep ruminating about it? I can't help but worry that my bf might dump me or stop liking/loving me if he found out about this, even though I have no idea he would.

I didnt bring it up before bc I didnt think it was a huge issue. I mean ofc its not an ideal situation but this was way before we were exclusive and what would I even have said? What good would it have been, it would be akin to discussing sexual details when not asked for I felt?

To be clear I would have been fine with him even sleeping with other women before we had the official title of bf/gf as long as I didn't really know about the details of what he got up to and was faithful after we were official, but for some reason I'm feeling guilty

How have you contributed to the problem?

by overthinking about it, I have a hamster that's on steroid. I have a fear of losing him in general, and I get anxious quite easily in general

How long has this been an issue?

a few days

What have you done to resolve this problem?

tried to forget about it, posted on here. I have cut down my nights out significantly, and moderate my drinking. In fact I've been toying with the idea of not going out to big drinking events without my bf at all since I dont want to put myself in a risky situation that will jeapordize my relationship. It's just not prudent for a woman who has a man imo.

How long have you been together?

3 months

Is your relationship long-distance?

no

Do you have an active bedroom life?

atm its not as often as we'd like, our bedroom life is new, and lately he has been really stressed so when he stays over at mine he falls asleep pretty quickly and then has to leave early morning for work. he says its pretty much because of his packed schedule/looming exams thats why things are like this, and I try to sneak in BJs before he has to leave for work.