Hey ladies,

I was hoping you all could help me with this since I'm considering my boyfriend a lot in my decision, and I think my friends would be biased if I asked them for advice.

Right now, I live in a two bedroom apartment with a wonderful roommate. She is a great girl and see a long-term friendship with her. She is very rpw minded but I don't think she's on this sub. She got a job downtown so we were going to relocate, but her job offer has fallen through, so things are up in the air right now. If at all possible, I think living with her is ideal, but I'm not sure it's smart of her to resign a lease since her parents are willing to have her move back home and she's out of a job.

So right now, for reference (or the "control"), I pay $1,000/month for my half of the nice 2 bedroom we live in. Total rent is $1,600, but I pay more as a favor to my roommate until she gets a job. I have my own bathroom with a big bubble bath and my roommate and I get along great. Location wise, I'm 20 minutes from work, 15 minutes from my boyfriend, and 5 minutes from his best friend, who he hangs out with a lot. My current situation is perfect because my boyfriend likes to do spur of the moment things, and I'm pretty close. I can also easily go out with him and his friends (since their "home base" is 5 minutes away), easily sleep over at his house if I want to, easily come back home if plans change, and also pick him up from his friend's house easily if he's been drinking there. My location has helped our relationship because I'm so close to him, his gym, and his friends, though not necessarily close to downtown where we all go out (although he doesn't live that close either, but closer). I sleep over at my bf's almost every night and it's really just a place to hold my stuff. While my current location is great for meeting up with boyfriend and commuting, my bf doesn't like to hang out at the apartment very often unless my roommate is gone, just because he likes his privacy and hanging out at his place (basement of his parent's house) is way more private. Also he is buying a house REALLY soon (like in the next month or two), but I don't think I'd want to move in with him until marriage. I think he feels the same, but would obviously love to have me over even more once he is truly the king of his castle (and not living under his parent's roof).

So here are the options I'm considering:

  • Pay $1375 for a one bedroom in basically the same location I am now. Safe neighborhood and lots of nice clubhouse amenities. There is one available closer to my boyfriend's gym and work location and one location really close to a metro stop. I'd be 5 minutes from one of his other friends, 10 minutes from his best friend, and 10 minutes from him. It would also be my own spot, so he could come over more and we could cook together without worrying about bothering my roommate. I have a feeling his friends may want to pregame at my place more due to the location near the metro stop, but that doesn't bother me. Also these places are kind of nice and kind of a steal for the price (garden style tub, granite counter tops), as I looked at an apartment by where I work (which is actually further out) and it was $1440. The 1 bedroom might be lonely since I won't have anyone there, but I usually keep to myself and hardly ever go out. It is nice to have roommates to chill with though if I end up staying in on a Friday night. I do think this 1br situation is probably the least stressful happiness wise, the most stressful financial wise, but may be a bit lonely.

  • Pay $1,000 for my own bed and bath in a 3 bedroom townhouse that is nice-ish in an area that is closer downtown. This would be about 15-20 minutes from my boyfriend, 30-40 minutes in reverse traffic to my job, and very close to where we like to bar hop. I think his friends like the idea of me living there because it's close to bars, but I think my boyfriend would be uncomfortable. The girls are also kind of party girls (although still nice enough). The pro of this location is that it is actually a very nice place for the area (my roommate and I were looking at more ratchet 2 bedrooms in that same area when she thought she had her job) and I'll have female companionship. I'm also paying about the same in rent and could easily save $1k/month. (I could probably still do that at the 1 bedroom but it would be a tighter budget). I certainly wouldn't get bored here, either. But it's with girls who I don't know as well as my current roommate, is probably double the commute, and might make my boyfriend uncomfortable. I think this option is the most fun option and not as stressful financial wise.

  • Pay close to nothing and live with my dad in his townhouse further out. This would be about 30 minutes (in rush hour traffic, probably 20 without) to my job, a good 40 minutes to my boyfriend and his friends, and even further out from bars. The pro of this situation is I could put $2.5-3k/month away in savings and probably have a down payment for a condo within 6-8 months. The downside is I would be far from everything. My boyfriend thinks this isn't a bad idea, and acknowledges it would mean more planning on our end to hang out. The thing is, I don't really sleep much at my own apartment anyways, so why should I pay so much for an apartment if it's just holding my stuff? I'm not sure though that sleeping over would be as easy if I'm already at my dad's place hanging out. I would still make the trek, but weekend hangouts would be harder for me to come to. I have a feeling my boyfriend would plan one weekend night with me and the other with his friends and would feel too guilty asking me to come out and sleep over the night he's with his friends, even though I'd gladly do the drive. I'd also probably try and go to the gym and hang out closer to my work so that if time allows, I can just go straight to my boyfriend's to hang out. He's also offered to store a lot of my stuff if I go this route. I think my boyfriend likes the idea of me living with my dad, and realizes it saves me tons of money, but I also know money on my end is not important to him. I think it would be great going into a marriage with him with a real estate property of my own, but I also know he doesn't expect that from me. One time he asked me to check how much money he spent at bars and I saw the balance in his checking account- it was more than my savings. He saw I was surprised, made a joke about how that was just his checking, and I admit it was more than I had, and he said it really didn't matter and that he doesn't care at all. Sometimes I get insecure because he's dated two literal multi- millionaires before, but he has assured me he doesn't care about money, and I believe him, though would love to contribute to our marriage, as well.

  • I could always wait for my roommate to get a job, and we'd be living closer to downtown in a not-as-nice apartment for about $1700-$1800/month. I would probably do this because I like her as a roommate, but I'm not sure she is going to get a job by teh time our current lease ends.

TL;DR: Have some options: live by myself close to my boyfriend for $$$, live by the nightlife for $$ with two girls, or live with my dad for $ further away from everything.