Ended a “situationship” tonight that was long-distance for more than a year. Have known him 20-years. FDS helped me see the light, thank you ladies! I was definitely being a pickmeisha. I loved him, so I feel relief now but am worried I will ‘relapse’ —

• love-bombed me the first few months. Has never told me he loves me since then, and never in person

• has disappeared from communication for weeks or months at a time, with no apology

• did not call on my birthday

• I always traveled to visit him (and paid for airfare)

• he ‘accused’ me of booking a trip to see him Valentine’s weekend this year so he’d “have to” do something for me. Which, he did nothing. Not even a card. (And I booked the trip because I had a 3-day weekend from work, not because of Valentine’s)

• Lots of negging in recent months, then says he is joking when I get mad. When I say his jokes aren’t funny, he says I don’t get to determine what is a joke and what is not.

• Tells me I need to “call him out” when the negging happens because he may not realize it. First time I did, he yelled at me over the phone to the point I hung up. I then got the silent treatment for 7 weeks.

• Foolishly, I tried to work it out. We talked and I directly expressed that communication is important to me. Yet he never once said the word “sorry” for his behavior

• Fast forward to last week, I text to ask if he got the new job (he’s been through several jobs during our time together) or moved — two things he mentioned last time we spoke weeks ago. He left me on ‘read’ for 8 days. I text today to be direct — I don’t appreciate being left on read and that it seems he doesn’t know what he wants. I wish him well.

• He responds that before he’d consider moving forward with me, I need to ask myself why I am so passive-aggressive, then maybe we can communicate again. I said I fail to see what is passive-aggressive about directly saying I am disappointed by being left on read when we discussed having better communication. Then I told him I didn’t see this moving forward. He just said ok, take care.

If you made it this far, thank you! Typing this is therapeutic and makes me see I did the right thing, just difficult because of our history and my love for him.

Hoping I stay strong and keep no contact!