Hi ladies & fellow Queens!

For women who are/were in a similar situation, how do you get comfortable with expressing and actually enforcing your boundaries?

I have a major problem standing up for myself. And I have problems with conflict, especially when dealing with someone with a strong personality. I'd rather run away than deal with interpersonal problems, most of the time.

This has been my biggest issue in past relationships, and I still struggle with it. I'm leveling up in other ways, but I can't seem to push past this barrier. It makes me feel weak and resentful, people end up treating me like a doormat, and don't respect me.

I know it seems from my upbringing, where I was taught that my individual needs and wants didn't matter, where I was always in second place to the boys in my family. I was raised to be polite to everyone and to never talk back, especially to someone older or in a position of power. And my mom has a strong, stubborn personality and any attempt at standing up for myself resulted in her screaming at me for hours and calling me rude and disrespectful. So I'd just keep quiet and go along with what she wanted. There were never any strong women in my family who I could emulate.

As a result, I've let people constantly push my boundaries and I have difficulty saying "no" and getting them to take me seriously. For example, I would know it was time to break up with or ghost a man, but I couldn't bring myself to actually do it. Or I'd constantly let NVM/LVM back into my life. Or I can't put my foot down when they disrespect me and ignore my first "no". I don't know what's stopping me.

I have no issues being alone, and even though my mind knows the right thing to do, I have trouble speaking the words and actually getting my meaning across. I used to have major self-esteem and self-worth issues that I'm working on.

I''m looking for a good therapist to help me work through this, but in the meantime, what have you ladies done that worked for you?