Quick background on me:

I'm mid-forties, married, and have several female friends. I also have a conditionally non-monogamous relationship with my wife (used to be more actively and openly non-monogamous, now it's much more subdued). We've been suffering from some dead bedroom issues for the past few years (long story, many factors), and instead of letting it get me down, as it has been, I'm starting to get reacquainted with the Alpha-me of many years ago.

And the story goes a little something like this:

So, a little over a month ago, my wife and I threw our annual summer tiki booze fest/kids birthday party for my now three-year old son (yeah, it's quite the mixed crowd, lol).

As things are winding down around 10:30 that night (party started around noon due to the "kids early/adults later" dynamic) and the last stragglers were saying goodnight, I get a call from hot friend Jane, asking if the party is still going and if she can still come over.

/Quick background on hot friend Jane:

Hot friend Jane is 31, 5'10", naturally drop-dead gorgeous, perfect body. Could totally be a super model, except that she's very much a tomboy type - down-to-earth, outdoorsy, athletic, no makeup, and more into adventure than anything material. In my mind, about as close to a HB10 as I've ever gotten, with a SMV that I always assumed made her about three leagues above me.

Also a bit of a hot mess - plays hard, and I usually only see her when we're partying together. I met her a few years back when she was involved in a somewhat long-term three-way with a buddy of mine and his HB9 wife (who are now divorced, sadly, though I have trouble finding sympathy for someone who got to fuck two unbelievable hotties at the same time for months on end). Fairly sexually open-minded, obviously. Always been very affectionate and professes her love for me on the regular. Gives me unrequited erections on the regular, too. At the time of the story, I hadn't seen her in about eight months. With most of my female friends, I tend to stay platonic. Jane is not one of those friends - I would bang the shit out of her, if given a chance, though I've always figured I never really had a chance./

Back to the story:

I've had a few drinks, wouldn't mind seeing her, but the kid's gotta go to bed and the place is a mess, so I waffle a bit.

"I've got my best friend from high school with me, and I want you to meet him," she says.

Oh, Jesus. Pass.

(Another thing about hot friend Jane - she always seems to have some guy with her, and wants me to come hang out with them. Always. A lot of orbiters; occasionally someone she is fucking or considering fucking. Never a dynamic I'm interested in dealing with, particularly since, with the exception of my Alpha-god buddy, she usually picks less-than-stellar guys to hang out with, IMO.)

"Oh, yeah, that won't work. Sorry."

"Oh, I really wanted to see you."

"Okay, I tell you what - I'm starving, and was about to walk over to the pizza joint to grab a slice. Why don't you meet me there so I can at least eat something?"

Done.

Wife agrees to put the kid to bed, and I walk to the pie shop. Jane comes flying at me and gives me a huge hug. I get my slices and a beer, she gets a beer, and we go sit down with her good buddy. Good buddy seems a nice enough guy, but is a bit of a neckbeard. Huh. Whatever.

Jane and I start catching up. Jane is so focused on me that I start to feel bad for her buddy, but eventually two of his friends show up and they all leave for the next bar. Jane says she'll find them there.

"Nice meeting ya'..."

Jane gets extra verbal about how much she's missed me (probably true), how she considers me one of her only "real" friends (who knows, but I'm cooler than most people she hangs out with), how she honestly regrets not staying in touch better (I believe her, don't know why), and asks me if I know how much she loves me.

"Well, yeah. I think I got the picture," I say, with a chuckle.

Then she grabs my hand and locks eyes with me. Tells me she really, really loves me. I'm very important in her life. Yeah, so, I feel another unrequited erection coming on...aw, fuck it. It's go time. Do I still have some Alpha in me, or am I going to resign myself to being Beta for the remainder?

"You know, you do this to me every time we're together."

"What? What am I doing?"

"This. Right here. And since I'm your friend, and it's never come up before, I'm giving you the benefit of a warning - keep doing it, and there will be consequences. That's all I'm going to say."

Doesn't really slow her down at all. She does ask what my wife would think (also her friend).

"You know I'm allowed."

"Really? I wasn't sure."

"Wasn't sure since when? I'm always allowed. You know that." (Especially with hot friend Jane - I got specific approval for this one. Wife thinks she's totally hot, too)

She then tells me she recently broke up with her boyfriend of two years.

"I'm a shitty girlfriend."

"Well, you really aren't the happy homemaker type."

"We could never have sex. For two years."

Whaaat? She was totally into this guy. Settled down for him and everything.

"He always premature ejaculated. I would take off my shirt, and he would run into the bathroom to clean up the mess. I loved him, but I was masturbating for two years instead of having sex."

Well, I'll be damned. There's an interesting turn of events. Can't say as I blame him - I might do the same thing in that situation. Would like to find out for sure, though.

/Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I might have had enough beers to let that last internal thought process slip out my mouth, but I'm honestly not sure. If I did, I'm confident it was said with a shit-eating grin, which would be the only thing keeping it from being full-on cringe-worthy./

Time to move locations. Fuck trying to find her friends, I grab her by the hand and move to my favorite dive bar. On the way, she's wrapping her arm around me and getting handsy. We stop at one point and she does the eye-lock shit again. I give it a moment, then swoop in for a kiss.

And...nothing. No response. No acceptance, no rejection. Just no response.

I let my lips linger for a pause, then pull back. She looks at me quizzically.

"I said there would be consequences."

Still nothing. At least nothing I remember, which means pretty much nothing.

Fuck it. Grab her hand again and head into the bar.

Spend the next couple hours bullshitting and getting handsy with each other. Occasionally, she does the eye-lock thing. And I respond the same way every time - I grab her and kiss her. Only once did I get a glimmer of response (a positive response), but nothing to write home about.

Every time, it was like it didn't happen.

Of all the things I thought might happen if I pulled that on her, I never expected nothing. Just that same, quizzical, deer-in-the-headlights kind of look, then back to bullshitting and rubbing up on me.

Time to get home. She's too drunk to drive, so she walks home with me and crashes on our couch (and, yeah, given that there are other party guests crashing at our house, and my wife is upstairs, I don't try anything once home). Leaves before we get up the next morning.

Get a text later that morning thanking me for hanging out with her.

She's invited me to do things a couple times since, and I've returned a couple of invites, but the timing never works. A mutual female friend informed me that, a couple weekends ago, Jane went on and on about how awesome I am while they were camping.

So I have no clue. Obviously, I didn't hurt our friendship at all. More obviously, I didn't get laid, or even close to it, at all.

So what do you guys think? What the fuck happened there? Where did I go wrong? How do I do better next time? What should be my next move?

For the love of all that is TRP, help me get something completely out of my league! lol...