Is being nice and friendly beta?

CSauceHockey · 2019-02-14T21:05:32+00:00

No you don’t need to be a douchebag to be an alpha.

frick-a-frack · 2019-02-14T21:08:45+00:00

I suspect what you think is kind is really you yielding to other’s assertions, opinions, etc. Your “kindness” is probably more apprehension than anything.

No. That’s not respected.

Doesn’t mean you have to be an asshole. It means own your opinions. Own your thoughts. Don’t continue putting every single person before you unless you enjoy being dead last. No karmic reward awaits you for putting others before you.

Gruss_p · 2019-02-14T22:01:36+00:00

Yes it's beta. You are not alpha enough if you don't stab a fork in other person's arm.

Maybelowsmv · 2019-02-14T21:24:42+00:00

I think the problem here is that (as you said) people don't respect you very much. Work on establishing boundaries for yourself. Only do whatever YOU want to do. That is all honestly. You don't have to change your personality, just focus on yourself more

FereallyRed · 2019-02-14T21:27:49+00:00

People walk on doormats. We like doormats, because we can rub the mud off our shoes on them, then get on with our lives.

Doormats are useful.

But their purpose is to have people walk on them.

Don't be a doormat.

INNASKILLZ2K18 · 2019-02-15T02:05:37+00:00

Read 'No More Mr Nice Guy'. Being nice is good, but it can also be a tricky one. Are you truly nice, or is your default to not believe in yourself, and your worth, so you revert to being 'nice' in order to get your needs met?

NMMNG may help you take a look at some things. We NEED balance, and array of how we deal with the world. We do have to learn to put ourselves first, go after what we want, and be a little selfish.

I wouldn't worry about superficial stuff, like 'does an Alpha smile'? That's just going to get you really self conscious and surface.

Read NMMNG, and get a deeper understanding of why you may be 'nice' all the time.

FalconWrite · 2019-02-15T03:11:00+00:00

Be personable and kind because you’re a decent, happy and sociable human being filled with strong energy and in a good mood because you’ve been fucking killing it in life, not just forcing it to make people like you

Rkingpin · 2019-02-14T21:33:42+00:00

So far as you're being nice because you want to be, not because you want to appease others.

The moment you behave a certain way to please other people you perceive as higher value than yourself, that's when you enter their frame.

Nothing wrong with being positive and smiley, don't overdo it tho. And know that when it's time to seduce, you'll have to get a little serious at some point.

WorkWorkZubZub · 2019-02-14T22:00:21+00:00

You can absolutely smile, laugh and joke.

You just don't let others dictate what you do or how you'll act.

SalporinRP · 2019-02-15T00:37:18+00:00

"Every prince ought to desire to be considered compassionate and not cruel... Take care not to misuse this compassion." - Machiavelli

Be a kind person but have firm boundaries and values and don't be a doormat. This isn't some advice on sexual strategy either. I just think being a kind person is a healthier way to live.

I get that some guys on here can go full dark triad and slay and good for them but it's just not for me.

boy_named_su · 2019-02-15T02:51:45+00:00

being nice is beta, because it's usually a covert contract

being friendly is not

resnine · 2019-02-16T02:38:27+00:00

It's generally not the NICE part that causes people to disrespect and take advantage of you. It's often you aren't putting people in their place by setting your boundaries, so people wall all over you like a doormat. When you have NO boundaries people make their own, and it's often not for the good. It's also often caveated with not being assertive and dominant. When these key components aren't infused into your personality (boundaries, assertiveness, and dominance) then people will see you as an easy target. Yes, people shouldn't see Niceness as a weakness, but that's the way of the world.

superdduper93 · 2019-02-15T06:27:36+00:00

I'm in a Youth Leader in my Church group and can be like the rest of the other guys in my Church group who are more or less the epitome of Beta: The kids literally walk all over them along with the female Youth Leaders because they try to be the empathetic, caring, "please listen to me!" types.

Don't get me wrong, if a kid tripped and hurt his/herself, I'd clean the wound and put a band aid on it.

What I don't tolerate is a fellow Youth Leader trying to emasculate me or kids being disrespectful whether it's talking back or straight up talking during a Homily in Mass.

There's a reason why I'm left along by my peers 99% of the time and why the kids don't dare to mess around with me unless they somehow magically forgot that there was someone nearby that would hold them immediately accountable for any discrepancy.

It's all about having balance. There's a time and place for everything. You can be an all around great guy that buys everyone doughnuts right before work starts, but you can also be the guy who establishes healthy boundaries that show that you aren't to be messed with.

Title	Is being nice and friendly beta?
Author	jrcursss98
Upvotes	6
Comments	17
Date	February 14, 2019 9:03 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/aqolth/is_being_nice_and_friendly_beta/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/is-being-nice-and-friendly-beta.218195 https://theredarchive.com/post/218195

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