Relationship Crossroads

Red-455 · 2019-03-01T18:31:53+00:00

However, I can’t help but think I’m “selling my stock early” by making the next level of commitment to her. I still go out with friends and get plenty of IOI’s from good looking women and have had many opportunities to cheat on her that I’ve turned down.

I’ve been here. If you’re already feeling like this and you aren’t even gotten married yet it won’t go away, it will get worse. 26 is very young to cash in, especially for an upper tier guy like you. Compounded with the fact that you haven’t touched anyone else in four years? Yeah man, not a good idea at all.

She, along with her mother and my own mother, are beginning to put this pressure on (albeit mildly

Not only selfish and a bad sign but stupid. Because the first thing you should do when someone isn’t completely sure they want to make a lifetime commitment with you is pressure them into it. If they don’t want to do it in their own, pressure will do nothing but force them into something which can be catastrophic in the long wrong.

PlantainNationalism · 2019-03-01T18:36:07+00:00

Your hesitation to get married at all is completely understandable. This is America. The divorce rate is like half. I'd suggest just be with your girl. Move in if you want. Have kids if she's the goat. But don't let that distract you from the real precariousness of your situation.

frost_v4 · 2019-03-01T19:53:35+00:00

What's the hang up? Is it that you want more strange before settling down, or is it that you think you can find better quality in the future? ... Also, how do things go when the two of you spend extended time together. Personally, if I were you, I would hold back any promise of engagement, but look at a cohabitation experiment as a further vetting and a learning opportunity.

WIA20XX · 2019-03-01T22:26:29+00:00

Same scenario, different poster. She's in her prime baby making/no down syndrome years, and you're hesitating.

Walk. You should have walked at the 12 month mark.

barn3r · 2019-03-01T19:39:34+00:00

Marriage is only worth it if she makes more money than you or her net worth is much higher than yours.

My father is a big time attorney in my hometown. I witnessed him get divorced raped by my mother that didn’t work a day in her life during their marriage. I’m very grateful to had this demonstrated to me at the young age of 8.

Now if she doesn’t fit the criterium of the first sentence of my post, don’t marry her.

However, if you have a kid, the worse that can happen is you pay child support.

If you move in together, the worst that can happen is when shit starts hitting the fan and she calls the cops for whatever reason. When the cops show up, someone is going to jail and getting charged with domestic violence. 9 times out of 10 by default, it’s the male. This is the law. This will have a everlasting negative impact on your career with possible termination of your current employment. If that doesn’t happen, you will probably lose some items during your separation; money.

Now that we have the logistics of what can go wrong sorted. Let’s talk about how you are in a high SMV position. There is plenty of women you can be fucking that you aren’t, because you’re oneitis. This has already crossed your mind as you stated it in your post. At the age of 26 and you’re only going to get a higher SMV, you are settling.

Don’t let these women persuade you in any way. It is their social and biological conditioning to push you into marriage in order to give them babies and grand babies... Fuck them and their selfishness.

effyouasshole · 2019-03-01T20:09:33+00:00

Your title says your relationship is at a crossroads, but its not. Its being made out to seem like you have to make a permanent choice right now. You don't.

Never let someone pressure you into doing anything you wouldn't normally do. Never. Even if its something trivial like what type of ice cream to buy (because once that step is taken, they can work up to something bigger).

Keep doing what you're doing. Maintain outcome independence. She's more than welcome to continue riding your success train, but if she wants to get off, you know that other women will be around to take her place.

Also, you better reflect on whether your "love" is oneitis.

Title	Relationship Crossroads
Author	toilets777
Upvotes	1
Comments	28
Date	March 1, 2019 6:24 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/aw7zfi/relationship_crossroads/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/relationship-crossroads.220327 https://theredarchive.com/post/220327

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