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How to not relapse?

Reddit View
March 17, 2019
93 upvotes

Background

Around a month ago I posted here about an experience I had with a 3 1/2 year LTR that cheated and dumped me after months of bluepill behavior on my part. The breakup happened at the end of January. I posted on TRP, you can check my post history cause the automod keeps removing when I link to it.

Progress

After that things went great, I fucked a beautiful girl not three days after. Started working out way more often(went from 82kg in December to 75kg and am lifting 5 times a week), studying relatively harder, making new friends, etc. We ran into each other one week after the breakup, and it was great, I held the frame, she acted sweet and amicable, and we parted ways on an okay note. It seemed like we were okay(i.e., we weren't going to speak to each other, but there was no animosity) After that I continued with my progress, traveling around Asia and even fucking a local 9/10 cocktail waitress. At this point, I now had the same number of sexual partners in the past month than in all my previous years. Life was great

The Event This Wednesday I was hitting up the bars with some friends when I ran into a girl from my home school. We started chatting, then flirting, soon enough I was touching her hips and lower back, she was grabbing my arm, etc. Things seemed to be going great. She then says for me to go into the bar to meet the other kids from my school. Lo and behold, who is there my ex. My ex then pulls the girl aside talks to her for 5 minutes, at which point the girl comes back and tells me to go fuck myself.

I then go outside for a smoke and see my ex with a mutual friend of ours. I approach because honestly after a few drinks I wanted to chat with her.

She proceeds to act nothing like the last time we saw each other, being bitchy, lying saying that I was "all over her friend" as if she wasn't reciprocating until she stepped in, and just being a general bitch. I was caught off guard as this behavior contrasted so much with our previous encounter, and seemed very out of character. She seemed to hate me, not even be indifferent she seemed to hate me truly.

I took it as well as I could, told her that she was lying and that her friend was ready to fuck me until she stepped in and that she was acting "not very nice."

The Downward & Frame Break The next /past few were rough. I felt almost as bad as I did when we broke up in some ways, and worse in others as before she was moving out, and now she actively disliked me. In the past, I had a problem with substance abuse to an extent, and this knocked back into it, which caused me to break my frame. The night it happened I took a substantial amount of Klonopin(similar to Xanax) enough for me to feel it for the next 24hrs. The following day still high I wrote her an email about how disappointed I was in how she acted and how what we had deserved more(yes I am aware that is the most beta blupill shit I could do).

Yesterday I took some Ambien pills to try and make myself feel better and try and get some sleep. Well, it didn't work, I stayed up all night, and hours later I broke down, asked a friend for her number which I had deleted, and messaged her telling her I wanted to talk on the phone. She hasn't messaged me back, and I do not think that she will.

I went from feeling good as fuck, having frame and being the most alpha I had been in a while, to breaking down, losing frame, and acting like a bluepilled little beta shit in 72 hours.

What's Next As Churchill said "Success is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm." So I'll pick myself back up and keep doing what I was doing before. From now on I'll actively avoid her, and if I see her anywhere, I will leave.

I will continue to work on myself, working out harder than before, studying harder, continuing to read about what I need to learn.

If you take away anything from my mistake, let it be this. Avoid all interactions with an ex. It doesn't matter how strong you think you are, how much you think you've moved on, how strong of a frame you think you've developed. There will always be a chink in the armor.

Question

Thats what I learned, but my question is. How do I stop relapsing?


Post Information
Title How to not relapse?
Author besantos10
Upvotes 93
Comments 31
Date 17 March 2019 05:20 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/222292
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/b21w10/how_to_not_relapse/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
alphabetaframecheatinglong term relationshipliftthe red pillthe blue pill
Comments

[–]JJ9OO8KK5II57 points58 points  (5 children) | Copy

You definitely overthought everything prior to taking the drugs. Which lead to taking the drugs.

Focus on your studies, your new friends, and learn to ditch the opinions of others. It's not easy to do, but it's fairly simple in the components that are required to move on.

[–]besantos10[S] 9 points10 points  (4 children) | Copy

You're right.

It's very much like lifting heavy weights. It's not complicated, all you have to do is pick the weight up and move it. But that doesn't make it easy.

Thanks for the advice, I'll continue to take it one day at a time and try not to stress about it.

[–]CalmPassenger 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

Well lifting itself isn’t complicated but the finding the right program and diet portion is very

[–]besantos10[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I know. I meant just the lifting part. I was just trying to illustrate how things can be simple but hard.

[–]jadensmithsson0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

No it’s not.

[–]babybopp35 points36 points  (2 children) | Copy

Dude .. you reached the point in every man's journey with trp.. the nuclear shit test. This is where some crazy shit by someone close hits you and shatters every frame you have built for months.

Don't worry... Shake it off. It happened and you were not prepared for it. Hour ex might have been stalking you and planned this shit for a while.. let it go. Delete her number. Cut all contact. Because after this comes false accusations. If you are stupid in the head, you will continue talking to your ex. Delete her and nuke her completely from your life. She is toxic to u . She makes u go back to using and totally shatters your frame.

Also forget about that gal you were talking to. Unlink yourself and delete all social media to your ex. Even if you happenstance to her, ignore her and don't talk to her. AT ALL.

Then go back and do what you were doing before

[–]besantos10[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Dude .. you reached the point in every man's journey with trp.. the nuclear shit test.

I'm glad that this isn't a particular occurrence, and yeah it was bad. Much worse than the shit tests new girls have been giving me.

She is toxic to u . She makes u go back to using and totally shatters your frame.

You're right. After a couple of days without seeing her, I am able to see it, but when I see her it all comes rushing back.

Also forget about that gal you were talking to.

I did, I'll also disconsider any girl associated with my ex.

Even if you happenstance to her, ignore her and don't talk to her. AT ALL.

Honestly, I don't think I'm strong enough to not be fixated on her yet. My plan was that if I am in the same environment as her, I'll literally just leave. I think that's kind of a pussy thing to do but wtf. I'll probably only have to do it once or twice in the next two months.

Do you think my logic is right? Or should I stay there and force myself to endure it and maintain frame? I believe I can but my track record is bad even if better every time.

Then go back and do what you were doing before

I definitely will. This is good as it forces me to get back up and persevere.

[–]trancedj7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Listen to babybopp. False allegations are a woman’s nuclear option and they are not afraid to use it. Check my post history and you’ll understand.

Cut all contact with her and NEVER speak to her again. Just my .02. If you run into her in public, personally I’d leave if at all possible. It doesn’t show you’re a pussy, it actually shows you value yourself and your time over some thot.

Stay safe out there man.

[–]KakarotSSJ427 points28 points  (1 child) | Copy

Dude you think you swallowed the pill and fully digested it in 3.5 months? Who cares what that bitch said to that other girl, she clearly got jealous you were gonna fuck her friend and bought into her bullshit. Why do you give a fuck about a bitch who cheated on you and dumped you? Continue to lift, work on yourself and spend some time alone. Focus on you and your mental health. You won't ever be perfect but you have to move on and stop caring about that bitch.

[–]besantos10[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're absolutely right.

You know the concept of TRP being referred to as a pill always bothered me because, to me, it makes it sounds like it's a one time thing. Like you get and so now you're forever fixed. I always thought it more akin to a supplement.

So I completely agree, I have not yet "digested it" in 3.5 months. I believe that I am on the path for it but I still have a long way to go.

Who cares what that bitch said

Why do you give a fuck

You have to move on and stop caring about that bitch.

I know that these things are how I should be seeing things, and I try every day to do so. But a part of me is still weak, that beta part is still invested in her validation and sees her as my most important source of happiness. Not only is that factually incorrect. She was also toxic as fuck for me.

But I am not yet cured as you said. I'm still battling that weak fuck but it's a hard process that is slower than I would like. And harder than I am proud to admit.

I don't know what I can do to accelerate it. But people like you help reinforce what my Alpha tells me.

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K1813 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dude, you should have just laughed it off and left, after the girl told you to fuck yourself.

You entered your ex's frame and basically just gave too many fucks about why she was acting that way.

Pick yourself the fuck back up, stop eating that benzo shit, and get back in the game. Resiliency, dude.

[–]Joeboard5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

Nooooo! Xanax makes you soo fucking retarted..

I was a heavy user of heroin and benzos. When i mixed xanax into my mix, I was taking a lot. Almost 10mgs a day. I literally lost months of my life in a straight blackout..

Benzos are a wild ass emotional rollercoaster. I literally almost killed someone with a frying pan in a xanax rage.

Stay the fuck away.

[–]besantos10[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I definitely will. I just packed them up and threw them at the back of my closet.

I'm considering flushing them.

[–]Joeboard2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Dude get rid of them. I cant believe you still have them LOL. I used to just keep munching them down, then would hide my stash. Blackout and forget where I put them.

Seriously tho, i got off the heavy drugs 6yrs ago and it was the best decision of my life. Your flirting with serious shit.

[–]besantos10[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Tossing them. Thanks.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

My ex still won't leave me alone and still has this delusion that I haven't gotten over her lmao.

She emailed me a few weeks ago saying she misses "us". and she saw old pictures of us the other day blah blah, fucking blah. I still haven't replied, and I won't. In my mind she is dead, she use to have control over me a bit but now I am more confident than ever. Couldn't give a fuck about her anymore or anyone that gets in my way. It took me a long time though. Quitting weed helped massively.

[–]besantos10[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This resonates with me a lot. I haven't smoked weed just because I am in a country that doesn't have it and it has helped a bunch.

How long did it take for you?

[–]mastercheifer16 points17 points  (4 children) | Copy

Stop taking drugs you degenerate. You haven't improved yourself at all, your just in a post break up "macho" stage.

[–]masterpiece00-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

bangs down 3 coffees per day, drinks alcohol.

[–]Archergold88-5 points-4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I can't help but take drugs.

[–]SeasonedRP2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You have the right idea. You'll eventually get to the point where you'll be indifferent if you see her. The best medicine is to continue seeing other women. When you have that feeling of abundance, she could throw herself at you and you'd find it to be a nuisance rather than a cause for losing frame. We've all done things we regret in situations like this. That you've learned from it and have a cogent outlook on how to proceed is an excellent sign, and tells me that you probably won't relapse. Many guys never learn and keep repeating the same mistakes over and over. This little slip up is normal and you've handled it better than many guys would have.

[–]Rkingpin2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Quit the drugs

Internalise that they are part of the old beta you

There's no place for them in an alpha lifestyle. Leave them or risk getting dragged back into oblivion.

You're on the right path, stick to constructive habits (gym, travels, socialising with quality people, enterprise etc)

[–]besantos10[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I use stimulants and I probably won't stop they help a lot. But I will definitely stop with the benzos and Ambien.

[–]Startlivingfornow1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

From blow to blow brother. It’s about how much quicker you can pick yourself up and get over the bump in the road. You’ve done it once you can do it again.

[–]elgodo71 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Love and hate are similiar they are strong emotions. She hates you as she still gives a fuck about you. When your over someone you don't feel much towards them you have neutral feelings.

[–]BusterVadge1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I was caught off guard as this behavior contrasted so much with our previous encounter, and seemed very out of character. She seemed to hate me, not even be indifferent she seemed to hate me truly.

This is pretty normal behavior when it comes to ex girlfriends. Especially since she cheated on you. After you broke up you better believe that she was thinking about you constantly and the woman's way of dealing with those thoughts is to turn you into a villain even if the breakup was not on you.

This is why we ghost and never fall for the "closure" ruse. It's the way that women revise the past so that they can live with themselves in the present.

If you take away anything from my mistake, let it be this. Avoid all interactions with an ex. It doesn't matter how strong you think you are, how much you think you've moved on, how strong of a frame you think you've developed. There will always be a chink in the armor.

Yup, ghost. Always ghost.

Thats what I learned, but my question is. How do I stop relapsing?

You just do you, and ghost your ex. Don't think about contacting her. At one time she was the finest cut of prime rib that a man could have but now that some time has passed she's gone rotten and will make you sick.

[–]GucciGangBucks0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You stop relapsing by not relapsing. Everything is a choice.

[–]rare_specimen_indeed0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Your story is my story exactly, except I moved into a home/office/apt room right next to hers, and then we broke up. So we live right next door to eachother in our home/offices, in a floor that's nearly empty. Except the other guy who lives on the floor part time is an eskimo brother. I'm going to asktrp what to do

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Its all about T control. PM me.



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