Addicted to porn

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2019-03-29T02:02:00+00:00

The problem is that you have shame and attachment issues about your sexuality.

The compulsive porn use is a symptom.

I'm not debating whether or not your behavior comprises an "addiction." I'm saying that you need to agressively treat the disease (shame and attachment), and worry less about treating the symptoms.

1) You expect, before the fact, that women will be hostile towards your needs and wishes when it comes to sex and intimacy.

You believe that it's not realistic to get you desire for sex and meaningful intimacy met from women, because it's too dangerous. (Note: this is usually the result of parents who were both strongly sex-negative towards you as a child, but also showed poor boundaries concerning their own sex lives.)

2) You see your sex drive and desire for intimacy to be somehow shameful and deserving of contempt.

3) you have intrusive ideas about worthlessness, self-doubt, and self-pity.

You attempt to cope with these three problems by engaging in avoidance and self-sabotage behaviors, i.e. compulsive porn use.

This is a serious frame issue.

You need to work hard to tackle and reverse these tendencies.

The reason you lose social confidence is porn use triggers your self- doubt, shame, and avoidance tendencies. You begin to feel that "because I watched porn I deserve other people's scorn and disinterest."

HappyScribe · 2019-03-29T07:23:46+00:00

Look up nofap and yourbrainonporn.com

If you really want to stop, make a decision that you're no longer the sort of person who ever looks at porn. (Giving up porn is all or nothing - It's like claiming to be vegan but eating meat on the weekends.)
The first week is tough, then it gets easier... Then around day 30 you become totally impotent. It's scary. You'll be tempted to go back to porn just to check that everything still works. You need to go through this 'flatline' phase.
Delete all the porn on your computer/phone. Put in porn blockers (You'll find a way around them, but they'll slow you down). Delete instagram.
Meditate. Become aware of your thoughts... and sexual thoughts throughout the day. I relapsed often after I'd go to a party and see some girls I liked. For the first few months you want to keep your day to day levels of horniness to a minimum.
When you absolutely feel you're about to break go for a run, have a cold shower (I quite like them now).
W_O_M_A_T's post on shame is work reading.

Rkingpin · 2019-03-29T09:23:32+00:00

The way to beat it is to stop isolating yourself and force yourself to become social.

Build bridges as the new version of yourself and you'll lose the desire to go back

0io- · 2019-03-29T03:40:30+00:00

Rather than try to eliminate it completely (which isn't working for you), why don't you just schedule it in to some time slot where it won't mess up your life. 6 pm to 7 pm on Monday or something. If there's some particular porn you want to watch you can just remind yourself that you'll watch it on Monday. Then just don't feel guilty about it anymore. You watched it when you said you were going to watch it.

sebastianconcept · 2019-03-29T09:39:33+00:00

Abusing porn will make you perform suboptimally at bed (or even poorly or induce fiascos). That should be motivation enough to not count with it.

Want to make it fun?

Develop game until you flirt with a girl over whatsapp up to the point where you made her psychologically so wet, that she sends you porn videos herself on how she want you to fuck her (or ask you nudes, dick pics, etc.)

BTW, someone should write an article about dick pics, how to and how NOT to, there are lots of redpill details about it

Asktrpthrowaway420 · 2019-03-29T08:49:32+00:00

You need to wean yourself off it. First thing, stop watching video porn. Our brains are not equipped to watch Asa Akira get her ass pounded in HD. Start jacking off to photos, seriously. There's plenty of reddits for that. Replace video with photo, then after awhile, start to decrease the frequency.

iwishiwasgayandcute · 2019-03-29T11:09:57+00:00

Read the part about masturabtion in no more mr. niceguy. Than go cold turkey. If you get the urges to look at porn masturbate rather than looking at porn.

bigXboi · 2019-03-29T05:24:09+00:00

Lol if you really wanted to stop, you would.

kayfab · 2019-03-29T07:21:09+00:00

I been a porn addict since 13 y old i am now 46.... they are the sexiest women in the world and every fantasy you can have.... i was with my ex girlfriend for 9y she was super bad sex i had better sex watching porn then fucking that numb nut.... i never saw anything wrong with it either.... now that i am single get the occasional escort i still watch porn a few times a day.

Title	Addicted to porn
Author	TheNegroInBlack
Upvotes	7
Comments	29
Date	March 29, 2019 1:19 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/b6r6d9/addicted_to_porn/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/addicted-to-porn.223604 https://theredarchive.com/post/223604

Comments