Quick points I am aware of after tonight : "it's either fuck yes, or fuck no". If a girl had two kids and then gave them up after 3 years of raising them, that should be a clear indication she's not worth your valuable time as a man: don't take table scraps like a dog. I'm responsible for how things go in my life.

Gorgeous mixed girl (Black, Hispanic) and I match on tinder. She contacts me first which is new, usually they show interest, but it's after I make an introduction. I play the "Oktoberfest in the town center near my house. What's your number? I'm going to meet friends, you should come." Works like a charm and she not a minute later gives it to me no questions asked. This comes across as needy to me, but I say let's give it a shot. I'm years into TRP and have recently got out of a relationship (LTR) because she was getting in the way of my priorities. It's been a while and I rationalized to myself that it'd be nice to have some feminine that I can flow with (flirt).

We meet, walk a bit, get to know eachother. She tells me she had two kids, but recently put them up for adoption. She couldn't "afford to raise them and give them a good life". Single mother. Tells me about her X, why she moved here, etc etc. The whole I'm just acting like it's not a big deal. I'd like to see where this goes and get laid, I don't care about your bullshit.

Night is great. Dancing, met my friends, she's touching me like crazy cause of this cut and ripped body I've forged (thanks to TRP). We kiss a little, then I tell her we're either going to another bar or we're going back to my place to watch a movie. She votes the second. I sarcastically say that she didn't have a choice.

We get to my house, kiss a little, but she's obviously thinking I'm judging her and not wanting me to think she's a slut or something cause she's holding back. I just proceed with the touching, etc etc. I then pull out the "you sing right? I should show you my music studio upstairs". She says "you'll have to help me up" off the couch since we had dug in and done some cuddling to get her comfort level up. I proceed to pick her up and carry her like Fabio on those romance novel covers. She's loving it. Place her on my bed, then start escalating. She stops me, and I can tell she's holding back. She says "we can't", and this is where I fuck up. I said "why, is there a reason"? Damn, I knew I had fucked up... she goes "I don't do this on the first date". Typical stuff. I stared at her a bit, then said "I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to do" and backed off. This was 2am, about an hour ago. See, I'm not desperate, I know she's lying to me. Her " I don't do this" is really a "I don't do this on a first date, with you". That's fine. But you have, so why am I different? Maybe the amount of money and social status I have makes me seem like a good provider. Maybe when we were flirting at the bar and people watching, creating stories about people based on their looks, my comment about this old lady that was obviously single and crazy had ridden the clock carousel and now no one wants her was it. Who knows.

She is naked now, she doesn't like to sleep with clothing, I don't either. Fine, but no fucking. This is where it hits me. Why am I letting a girl I don't know, that won't put out, sleep in my bed and keep me up? Because that's what I've done my whole life. I've always been needy for validation and attention from girls that I've just let them walk all over me and make me sacrifice comfort even though I get Jack shit in return If I don't put into play what I've learned in TRP, what good was it?

Now, here is another major problem. She gets a call at 3am, it's a dude, he's asking her to come over. I'm sitting there dumbfounded. Is this bitch really that disrespectful? Done. I call her a cab, tell her to get dressed, get her to pay for it, and call it a night.

All in all, this was a great night. It reminds me of what is important. It reminds me to be vulnerable, but not let others disrespect me. It reminds me that if your gut tells you someone or something is going to be a waste of time, it's not worth it and go with your gut. You're a man of abundance, not scarcity, so why put up with bullshit? And last by not least it reminds me that I'm responsible for how tonight went. Part of me wants to blame her for how it went. Nope, it was all me. I could have chosen not to go out with her based on the signs, but I was being needy or something. I actually don't quite know. I think I was more curious and wanted to put my knowledge to the test. Boost my confidence or something.

I'M in control of my own life, not others.

So, I'll most likely just call her out when I need to roll to a party with some chicks. Otherwise, I'm not going to pursue her. I refuse to be friendzoned. I don't believe girls and guys can be friends.

Edit: clarification, spelling

Update: Got a text from her late last night while I was on another date. She said "Hey, did you not like hanging out last night?".