Hi,

I must admit that RP helped me a lot in my marriage - my wife stopped showing me disrespect openly. But still I'm not able to fix it completely.

But let’s start from the beginning. I had great relation with her before marriage. At least this is what I remember but maybe I was just blind. She was very caring about me and very conservative in house roles. So she always took care of our house, she prepares us a meals, I get lunch box when I go to work, she gives me massages, etc (and she still does that, she has always been doing that). Sounds like a perfect girl, right? And in this level it really is. I just had to show her that I’m paying attention to spending as she was not honest about it one or two times.

Second phase was after marriage. She started openly showing that she doesn’t listen to me when I’m talking, just rolling her eyes and ignoring me when I tried to explain her my thoughts or my beliefs. Worst things are the hardest to explain, she just made these faces saying that I’m completely dumb/idiot/not worth to listen. It was like I had two wifes in one person. One very caring about physical me (meals, massages) and our house and another one – aggressive and disrespectful bitch. Second one was mostly visible when we were talking or on vacation. It was usually shocking for me cause it usually was like we had some sweet conversation and then she switched to bitch mode. I was trying to talk to her, explain her, addressing reason – but no results. I was trying to address her empathy, I was saying that she is hurting me and why is she doing that – also no result. After some time she became even more aggressive but she started saying that I’m the aggressive and violent one. I found RP searching for an advice in the internet. I was not convinced in the beginning. Also could not apply it because I could not take this cool. It was like in rage I was totally in RP but after rage I was my old polite and friendly me.

Third phase started when I had enough of that (6 months ago). It was shortly after she said that I’m aggressive – for me it was like she wanted to divorce. So I changed my approach. It was too much for me. I started to set boundaries, reply aggressively for aggression and disrespectfully for lack of respect and – what’s the most important – I told her that this way we are going to divorce. She changed herself very quickly. I think it was just one month or so. And it also greatly changed me. Without this burden I started to go to gym regularly and achieve more in my life. I still need to work on my body but I don’t think it’s bad – I have some fat below my 4 pack but not much. My consistent approach to training resulted that she started training to (she looks good but 90-60-90 is always welcome ;-) ). However I’m not able to create that spark between us anymore. I’m not able to make her desire me. She is still very caring and but it’s not like there is much enthusiasm about our relation. I miss that spark if you know what I mean. I’m also bit tired of all this. Maybe I just need time to recover from battles with her bitch mode? Or maybe I have too much expectation? She still gives me sometimes this disrespectful look – but only when she is angry. I don’t want shitty marriage or shitty life but also want to avoid divorce – not only because of it’s consequences but also because I have a feeling that I would have exact the same problem with other woman as they are all more or less the same. I think she still sees me as inferior to her. I’m successful in career, have my own passions (not just games/tv), quite fit, quite well read and improving that all the time. So why she feels like I'm something lesser then she is?

Could you please advice something on this? Any thoughts? What can be wrong with me?