Hey guys,

I've checked the sidebar and also Rational Male, but I'd really appreciate some advice on how to deal with this situation.

Tl;Dr HB I've been dating for a month yesterday rejected sex for the first time because she was tired. I've made it a big deal. She said she feels under pressure to have sex. I told her we weren't going to have sex tonight and still see each other.

I've been dating this 27yo HB8 for 4.5 weeks. We started very fast because we have a lot in common. After our first date she said that she felt a deep connection as if she had known me for a long time. We had amazing sex on the third date and from then on every minute we spend together. I checked the sidebar for red and green flags and it assured my feeling that she's LTR material (very low body count, cooks for me, treats herself well, almost no social media, healthy relationship to her parents,...). Last weekend she told me that she loves me and that she can imagine a future together very clearly. She told her friends and parents about me and so on... So far so good, everything went really well.

Yesterday she wrote me that she has a really hard day and that she is quite tired. I told her we should postpone seeing each other then, but she asked me to come anyway, which I accepted (mistake 1). I listened carefully to her talk about her hard day without giving many comments (as recommended in Rational Male). We kissed on her couch and when she yawned, I pulled her into her bed. I began to initiate sex, which she rejected for the first time. I lost frame when I became visibly frustrated and rolled to the other side of the bed. She asked me why I didn't want to be her big spoon, to which I replied that I am too horny (although we had sex in the morning). She told me she was sorry, but everything is fine and she just had a really hard day. In the morning we got up too late so we didn't have time for sex, so once again I got frustrated. I got up and didn't say a word to her and she asked what was going on, to which I replied that I was frustrated. She said she understood, but I shouldn't be angry with her. She texted me that she now feels compelled to have sex tonight and said we could meet tomorrow when she was better. I wrote her a text a few hours later that I'm sorry that I put her under pressure by making such a big deal (mistake 2 - iron rule #9) and suggested not having sex tonight to take that pressure off her (big fuckup). She appreciated my apology and said she is looking forward to seeing me tonight, that she loves and desires me and that last night had nothing to do with me.

I messed up by making it a big deal and by saying, 'no sex tonight' but I'd love to hear your opinion on how to deal with the situation tonight and how to restore my frame.

Thank you in advance!