How do I stop taking things so personal? I find myself resenting people when they point out a rule I'm breaking.

pizza_on_ranch · 2019-08-09T12:29:44+00:00

It’s really about frame brother and it’s more than about just women (As I’ve come to realize). All people want to elicit an emotional reaction out of you regardless of gender. If you stay firm like the mountains and either Agree and Amplify, ignore and move on, or basically any of the shit test passers (I only use the first two because why let absolutely anything get to you), people will think you’re the most calm, confident, and secure person. In the art of war, Sun Tzu stated “It is the unemotional, reserved, calm, detached warrior who wins, not the hothead seeking vengeance and not the ambitious seeker of fortune”. Become outcome independent and you’ll find the world chasing after you.

Remember, when people are picking at you, annoying you, or whatever, they’re trying to see if you’re worth friendship, time, conversation. Unfortunately it’s just how the world works. You can’t control what they say or do, but you definitely can control how you react to it.

Hope this helps my brother

LSDparade · 2019-08-09T13:03:13+00:00

People get frustrated when they're forced to confront their own flaws and emotions. The moment people point out those flaws, you're forced to confront them. Most people reject it and end up bitter and argument/resentment ensues.

When you get that sinking stomach feeling of being offended, analyze it. Are they being honest and telling the truth?

It's hard to be emotional about it if you understand yourself first.

AdmCP · 2019-08-09T14:23:16+00:00

Whenever you receive a personal opinion you are taking it as an objective fact. Try to handle it like it is. A single expression of a single opinion from a single person among dozens in your proximity. Don't shit on it, don't overvalued it. There are most likely a dozen more different opinions about you out there. Many you don't even know about. Keep it relative.

YungRichKid · 2019-08-09T11:11:07+00:00

You have to see the bigger picture which is your objective in life, try something, next time someone points something out to you take a moment and analyze it, after a while you’ll realize it doesn’t even matter and it works with a lot of things you’ll deal with throughout life.

Corvus_Uraneus · 2019-08-09T14:02:40+00:00

What rules are you breaking and why?

tomacer · 2019-08-09T16:51:46+00:00

An interesting way to frame interactions with people is to think about how that other person(s) perceives you in the moment you are interacting with them. Is there some kind of implied social status, or value you or the other person "have" that cause them to act as if they better, or worse than you?

Be aware of any juxtaposition when interacting with people based on what how you think they might be seeing you during your interaction with them.

In almost all situations, there is some degree of social class, status, whether it be professional or even just casual which people pick up on and causes them subconsciously to act superior, or inferior to you.

This doesn't answer your question. But it might offer a lens to look at things in a way you had not before, in the end if we focus on the neutrality of interacting with others as humans and focus on the joy of that alone - a lot of the bullshit that once bothered us all of a sudden becomes an experience. Slow things down, enjoy it when others try to pull some petty shit and have fun with it.

thrwy75479 · 2019-08-09T11:21:04+00:00

How are you feeling before someone says something resentful?

Often times, it's when you're already at a low point that seemingly innocuous remarks transform into perceived slights.

Pain can also be a marker for an area in which you could try to heal and improve.

_Benny_Lava · 2019-08-09T15:51:09+00:00

Read "The 4 Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz. Changed my life in this area.

WaltDFaulkens · 2019-08-09T18:17:34+00:00

Pee on them

Title	How do I stop taking things so personal? I find myself resenting people when they point out a rule I'm breaking.
Author	bluescreen420
Upvotes	23
Comments	16
Date	August 9, 2019 10:50 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/co0pi3/how_do_i_stop_taking_things_so_personal_i_find/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-i-stop-taking-things-so-personal-i-find.249808 https://theredarchive.com/post/249808

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