for me i've always found, apart from a bit of light teasing (and i give back as good as i got), that most other boys growing up really didn't care whether what i did was manly or not. mostly because they were too busy being boys. And the girls were the same.

But as I grew up became older i've noticed that pressure to be a man comes from women and not from men. Well at least for me it does. And it makes sense. Because the men really don't give a fuck how you live your life as long as it doesn't impact them. Women on the other hand? Well one of them could be a one night stand, or a fwb, or a future wife (or maybe even all 3 combined). and they'll be more concerned whether or not you are a "real man".

(note i know not all women are like this, but enough are.)

and a "real man" to them might mean someone who has a six figure income job, who won't whine, and who'll be capable of violence towards other people (no joke but i actually saw a poster here, forget the name, who claimed that being capable of violence was one of her requirements for men she dated. one of the more frighteningly naive things i have ever read on here.)

and if you don't fit into their narrow viewpoint of what a "real man" is then to them you are nothing.

i don't know if it is just me, but i've alway viewed myself as a person and not as a gender. so thinking about this stuff has been really interesting for me.

am i alone in thinking that pressure on how to be a man comes from women and not men?