How come female pleasure during sex isn't as valued or understood as male pleasure?

RaptorSpade1296 · 2018-10-07T20:57:32+00:00

I'm probably stupid but I'm guessing it's because it's not that hard to please men. Stroke the dick up and down and dont be disgusted when you look at the guy. Not that hard.

Also on the other hand, because pleasing women is significantly more difficult than pleasing men. (This applies to issues other than sex too lol)

There are guides on how to please men and women like Cosmopolitan

Idk about you but I'm pretty sure cosmopolitan doesnt give reliable information.

concacanca · 2018-10-07T20:44:09+00:00

You think it isn't?

The thing is that male sexuality is much more straight forward so it's easy for a trashy magazine to throw out a few basic guides on pleasing a dude.

Now you can easily go and find a host guides on cunnilingus and other technique with a quick Google but the thing is that not all women like the same things and you need to work a lot more than just the physical.

[deleted] · 2018-10-07T21:49:50+00:00

idk about you but if she isnt able to get off before me I feel like I failed. men can have a time limit and a cooldown women do not. though I usually use oral because it's just easier to give a clitorial orgasm than a vaginal one

GridReXX · 2018-10-07T20:56:41+00:00

A woman could be raped, brutalized, be in excruciating pain, experience zero pleasure, and not orgasm at all during sexual intercourse with a man and still get pregnant.

A man cannot impregnate her without orgasming which 99% of the time is a pleasurable release for him.

In an evolutionary sense, whose orgasm is more important?

Now extrapolate that out to how this reproductive biological truth influenced how humans have evolved behaviorally, sociologically, hormonally, etc.

ConnorGracie · 2018-10-07T23:30:07+00:00

Here are some sex tips from Cosmo

1. Real talk: Roughly 70 percent of women need more clitoral stimulation to O during sex — so reach down and touch yourself during the deed! You feel in control of your O, and he's super turned on. Win-win.

2. For a twist on missionary, lie on your back, and lift your legs up and over to one side as he enters you. Raising your legs makes you supertight, and the angle of your hips means he'll hit spots that rarely get TLC.

3. Get him to skip the in-and-out thrusts and, uh, stir with his penis instead. He'll stimulate every inch of you (motion of the ocean and all that…).

4. Sit on the edge of the washing machine, and wrap your legs around his waist as he enters you. Helpful hint: The cotton cycle provides the strongest vibrations.

5. In reverse-cowgirl, lean back (instead of forward toward his feet). It's a primo G-spot angle for you and the illusion of a Kardashi-ass for him.

6. The no. 1 rule for a great blow job: Use your mouth (obvs!) and your hands. Take the head in your mouth, and lick and swirl like you would a soft-serve cone. Mean while, use your hands to grip, squeeze, and stroke the length of his penis. Don't keep up the same motion — variety of sensation is key!

7. Instead of pleasing each other simultaneously during 69 (so hard to focus!), take turns. One person goes to town, while the other groans and moans about how good it feels.

8. While he's giving you oral, have him insert a finger or two and stroke your G-spot with a come-hither motion. Internal and external stimulation boosts your orgasm chances.

9. Lube up! (Both you and your partner, before and/or during The Naughty.) Almost 50 percent of women say lube makes it easier to orgasm. And forget the myth that it's only for older women — all the cool kids are doing it!

10. If you have no clue whether your partner's dirty-talk meter is set to "a little naughty" or "downright filthy," do a sneaky little test. Ask, "What would you like me to do to you? Details, please." And see what words he uses and how risqué he's willing to get. Then follow his lead.

Mostly shallow and obvious if you aren't just doing missionary, also half of them are about increasing women's sexual pleasure.

[deleted] · 2018-10-07T23:30:40+00:00

every girl is different every guy is basically the same

ConnorGracie · 2018-10-07T23:33:34+00:00

Women have a harder time orgasming, expecting orgasms to be equal is another fact of biology feminists can't take. It's not that it is misunderstood it is simply harder to achieve for women. Women struggle orgasming from masturbation. What chance do men have.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2018-10-08T00:18:17+00:00

It is simple market economics. Women will consume guides on how to please men and men will not consume guides on how to please women. Easy-peasy

PersonofControversy · 2018-10-07T21:17:24+00:00

I feel like if female pleasure during sex isn't valued or understood, that's one of the few things that, in modern culture, is basically on women. It's the same thing with girls complaining about there last partner not being able to find 'it'; if you want to orgasm and the guy is that clueless, than legit just take his hand, put it where it has to go, demonstrate what he's supposed to and boom; you both leave that encounter satisfied.

I feel like the reason we tend to think female pleasure isn't as valued or understood as male pleasure, is because that's usually how it goes. Men are under a lot of pressure to not admit that they don't know what they're doing. Magazines advertising that kind of education as a major selling point wouldn't do that well because buying them would be like admitting you're bad in bed, and no guy wants to do that. So instead most of the learning I've ever heard of is done via 1-1 tutoring, if you know what I mean.

That and there actually are a few videos on porn sites covering this kind of thing. There are literally tons of videos on female sexuality on the kind of sites men tend to already be visiting anonymously; essentially porn sites. Type in 'how to finger her' on Pornhub and you get a metric ton of educational stuff on that exact topic, and it's the same for all the other stuff. I argue that this kind of education tends to be hidden not because the public doesn't care or understand it, but because guys are shamed for 'not knowing what they're doing', so any kind of service aimed at teaching them has to be in places guys think nobody will be able to see them watching it.

So, essentially my main thrust is:

A) Female sexuality is pretty well understood, it's just that most guys either learn on the spot from cooperative, self-aware partners, or on places on the Internet that are pretty hidden (if you can call Pornhub hidden) from the public eye, and especially hidden from women.

and,

B) If you wanna orgasm, that's literally on you. Just show them what to do. The majority of guys are literally just going to do what seemed to work on the last girl, so if none of those girls actually ever breaks the chain of just lying back and doing nothing, than none of them get to get off.

EL_Miore · 2018-10-08T01:24:09+00:00

Good question

sawouthkay · 2018-10-07T20:40:32+00:00

The goal of the average dude is to get laid. That’s it. Not getting a relationship or whatever, just getting laid. He will look up how to get to the step where he can undress a chick, and that’s it, level cleared. Because a lot of women are used to this, they lower their expectations and it goes on and on.

There are still a decent number of men who care about their partners pleasure. And I think most women don’t necessarily understand what it means to have sex as a guy, the performance aspect of it is unlike what they are accustomed to.

Tech_11001101 · 2018-10-07T20:54:14+00:00

Cant speak for all men.

But I strongly disagree from a personal perspective.

I have a few moves I do, which I learned from a guide that covers everything (foreplay, oral, fingers, penetration, etc) as well as a healthy mindset, that makes sex look like the merging of two energies as opposed to pump and dump. Plus it also has hypnosis for implementing certain mindsets. Im not going to go into great detail.

Thing is, why am I going to share something like this publicly

A) I paid money for it (granted not really that much) B) this stuff works a treat.

As per the the Pareto Principle, 80% of women want the 20% of men. This potentially puts me in the 20%, if the majority of men are just gonna "Pump $ Dump". So why change that.

There may be guys on here that know what I am talking about, who knows. But first rule of fight club is dont talk about fight club.

beachredwhine · 2018-10-07T20:35:59+00:00

The female orgasm isn't a requirement for procreation. The male orgasm is. And women will still very much enjoy sex so long as the man enjoys it. An orgasm is just a bonus. Oh plus a guy who is obsessed with giving a girl an orgasm is creepy and low value. Men with some experience in actually having sex with actual women, not watching bizarre porn, don't need a guide or some bizarre terp field report about the "double salute" or two fisted finger bang or whatever dumb assery.

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ConnorGracie · 2018-10-07T23:24:17+00:00

Hint: women aren't actually good at sex, would you say a flesh light is good at sex because it basically does the same thing that a woman does.

[deleted] · 2018-10-08T09:54:21+00:00

> than a skill you get better at like driving

Have you ever driven a car before? Despite 20 years of experience the average driver still sucks (including me..... sometimes, but I don't have 20 years of driving experience, more like 5).

Pleasing a woman is really easy because as long as you're hot she'll orgasm just from the thought of fucking you. A few thrusts and she's a swimming pool.

SexySesameStweet13 · 2018-12-16T21:36:56+00:00

Honestly it’s the other way around. I never see “how to please your man” articles. I know because I had to scour through a ton of “how to please a woman” articles to find just one. Also, my girl friends all seem to not care at all about their guys pleasure... And in a lot of polls women admitted they’d rather spare their own ability to orgasm than their male partner’s, while the men were the opposite... It’s upsetting and comes off so selfish. Men genuinely care about making their women happy nowadays, this isn’t the 50’s anymore. And the fact that they’re constantly being shat on and shown zero love or affection for the faults of men 100 years ago is absolutely disgusting to me. Personally, my favorite part of sex is performing fellatio, I adore pleasing my man, and hearing him make noise. (It feels more submissive to me) It’s baffling so many women would gag hearing it. Women are supposed to be naturals at nurturing, it’s in our instincts. Imho men are the ones who’s sexuality is being not only neglected, but demonized and made into something “evil”, when it’s deepest roots come from the relationship between a woman and her baby boy.

ifelsedowhile · 2018-10-07T22:12:35+00:00

Because women orgasm with alphas but not as much with betas. A better understanding of female sexuality would lead to a societal acknowledgement/recognition of the selective nature of women and it goes against the blue pill narrative.

Iswallowedafly · 2018-10-08T08:03:02+00:00

It really takes no effort or skill to get a guy to get off.

Title	How come female pleasure during sex isn't as valued or understood as male pleasure?
Author	RaptorSpade1296
Upvotes	2
Comments	35
Date	October 7, 2018 8:30 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/9m8gt6/how_come_female_pleasure_during_sex_isnt_as/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-come-female-pleasure-during-sex-isnt-as-valued.259662 https://theredarchive.com/post/259662

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