Hi everyone,

I'm a 30 year old who has been single for the last 3 years, or 1.5 years if you count a monogamous 6 month relationship that I was unsure of. I never officially called him my boyfriend in title because something about him just felt off - eventually I realized that he was essentially an insecure man masquerading as a confident man who was trying to use emotional abuse to control me.

After that relationship, I took one year to myself and was very uninterested in dating. I had just graduated from my master's program and needed to focus on my career. However, about two months ago, I met a man that I frankly fell head over heels for. We connected so well initially and he was absolutely amazing on paper - tall, assertive, good education, good job, boyishly charming, and he came from a very similar background as myself. Almost perfect! And so I came out of my monk mode for him, but as I got to know him, his assertiveness became unwarranted anger and I noticed some deep-rooted insecurities that affected every single decision that he made in his life, including how he related to women. I realized that history was repeating itself and that I needed to examine my actions and see what I was doing to perpetuate this pattern.

So I pushed him away, cried a little bit, and took about a month to get over my feelings for him. I played the whole "should I text him to just be friends" game with myself but texted my friends a flurry of emotions instead, rotating between them to make sure that I wouldn't wear them out...although I think I did anyways haha.

I tried to distract myself by working on myself - I was already remaking my wardrobe, so I rounded that out, started regular manicure/pedicure/waxing/spa treatments, bought some new skincare products (including some anti-aging products now that I'm 30!), changed my diet, started exercising more, picked up hiking as a hobby and took a surfing class. I'm going back to the beach for a second round this Saturday with some of my friends. :)

Now that I'm pretty much completely over this guy, I'm having so much fun making me into the best version of myself that I can be. It feels good to wake up, look in the mirror, and love what you see looking back at you. I wanted to start a thread and see what you girls are up to as well! Thought it would be fun to bounce some ideas off of each other for new things to try and do.