When you meet the right girl, you will naturally act "alpha"

exit_sandman · 2016-01-17T12:15:59+00:00

What's with all the throwaways making random posts today?

[deleted] · 2016-01-17T12:20:13+00:00

Isn't that swell? Everybody go home. Nothing more to see here.

[deleted] · 2016-01-17T12:27:38+00:00

When I first met my current gf I was on I think 2g of phenibut, a Russian anti-anxiety drug that causes a massive burst of confidence like cocaine as well as benzo-like mental relaxation.

Now, because of this I was not nervous as I would normally be on a first date and I was able to very naturally act the way she likes, and indeed the way I like acting but only when I'm comfortable. I won't go into detail because it'd end up more nsfw than it really needs to be, but safe to say I showed dominance, she was turned on by it, and over two years later we're still together. Now I just act like this all the time naturally because we have that dynamic. It's simply natural.

I'd say she's the right girl for me for certain. Wouldn't have anyone else.

But...

If I met her the first time and was overcome with nerves, I'd have just come off as a pussy and she'd be turned off instantly. I doubt I'd have even got a second date let alone a two year relationship. Even though we fit so naturally into our roles right now, that doesn't just come out of nowhere. It comes in time, getting to know each other, becoming comfortable with each other.

So no, I don't think you magically become alpha when you meet "the right girl", it is a skill you need to work on until you develop a closer connection. Before that happens, to make a good first impression, you need to make a concious effort. Or take drugs, whichever.

wtknight · 2016-01-17T13:07:28+00:00

It is utterly arrogant to think there is a "right girl" and that she will always feel safe with you. The day may come in which you fail too many shit tests and you will stop being a safe bet to her.

She needs you to be strong and she will always test you.

There is no "right girl" there is only a girl who finds you both attractive and safe.

Transmigratory · 2016-01-17T13:39:40+00:00

It's like somebody took TRP and TRP's stereotype of 'mainstream BP dating advice' then put them in a blender. I eagerly await your novel takes on 'just be yourself' and other cliches.

[deleted] · 2016-01-17T14:07:12+00:00

I agree that finding the right girl will make it easier. And that it's important to look for her and not pick any girl and try to win her and only her over. Unfortunately, red pill rules still apply when you have found a compatible girl.

While there's nothing wrong with choosing a potential girl, the whole point of getting to know a person is to figure out if you have natural chemistry.

Natural chemistry ftw. Problem is that it can lead to a false sense of security.

Happened to a friend recently. They hit it off really great, natural chemistry, absolutely no shit-tests in the beginning and everything seemed to be on easy mode.

He actually said something like "it's so great. When you have the right girl, you don't have to follow the rules."

But it changed after the honeymoon phase and she eventually broke up with him.

In other words, when you find the right girl, you will naturally act "alpha" around her, out of instinct. You will feel like you are in charge of her

Not necessarily true. I see where you are coming from and yes, male protector/provider instinct will come into play here, but it might not be enough to make you actually lead in an RP way. Especially if you are naturally a beta guy.

But yeah, what you say is certainly true for many guys. (For me, too)

The thing is:

like it's your duty to lead her, and she will let you.

"She will let you lead her" is usually not the problem beta guys face. The problem is that they don't want to lead. Or have no idea how. They'd prefer a relationship without leading.

Like the guy in my above example. She would have happily let him lead. He just didn't even try.

If the girl is putting up too much of a fight (too many "shit tests") that you have to struggle constantly to keep control, then she's not the right girl for you. Throw her back and go fishing again.

This is 100% true. If you have to be on your toes 24/7 she is not the right girl for you. Except if you like power games for some fucked up reason.

Lonny_zone · 2016-01-17T14:51:40+00:00

I actually think it is the other way around, when a girl is into you she acts submissive with the giggles and the starry eyes and the awe of your presence.

Archwinger · 2016-01-17T12:46:04+00:00

Aim lower, for uglier, damaged girls with shit self esteem, and I'll naturally be inclined to act superior and cow them into submission. Got it.

scrantonic1ty · 2016-01-17T16:02:38+00:00

More "just be yourself" bullshit. Social skills are called skills for a reason, you can learn and improve.

Title	When you meet the right girl, you will naturally act "alpha"
Author	puzotron
Upvotes	0
Comments	18
Date	January 17, 2016 12:05 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/41d8go/when_you_meet_the_right_girl_you_will_naturally/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/when-you-meet-the-right-girl-you-will-naturally.276878 https://theredarchive.com/post/276878

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