I have always had an extremely low self esteem and had 0 confidence. Around a year ago, I had discovered theredpill and immediately got myself a gym membership. I was a skinny fuck back then at 134lbs at 5'11, and after a year of hard work , I have put on 40lbs. I have gotten into the gym. I then threw out my entire wardrobe and replaced it with clothes that fit me, I have improved my style. I went on hair forums and posted a picture and got advice, I now wear a haircut that suits my face.

What hasn't changed? My confidence. I still have a low self esteem, I am insecure about things such as my nose and face in general. My frame is so weak and I am just stunned on how I can improve it. Over the past few months, I have adopted a blackpill mindset, which is weak and crippling. I hate it. I can't stop looking over the various forums, their toxicity has consumed me and I don't know how to kick this mentality out.

Not too long ago, a male friend of mine rated my face a 6/10 and told me my nose was disproportionate to the rest of my face, my eyebrows are messed up and my face lacks symmetry, lol. Although it shouldn't have bothered me, it did and I immediately resorted to posting on amiugly, where I was told I did not need a rhinoplasty and that although my nose is large, it suits my face and got ratings varying from 6-8.

Despite this, I can't stop hyper focusing on my appearance and it's slowly degrading my mental health, my confidence is as low as ever and my frame is weak. I DO NOT want to live like this, I don't want to live out the rest of my adult life pitying myself, it is shameful and makes me feel like shit. How do I go from here to improve myself and kick this blackpill mentality out of my head?