I've encountered this accusation more times than I can count on this sub, either directly or indirectly (as in, "TRPers are obsessed with sex!").

My attitude (or that of other TRPers with whom I'm lumped) has been called unhealthy, narcissistic, "putting sex on a pedestal", damaging, shallow, vapid, and on and on.

Of course, by my way of thinking, I'm not really "obsessed" with sex. It's just very important to me. Having a fulfilling sex life increases my overall happiness and quality of life, whereas not having a fulfilling sex life decreases my overall happiness (an extended lack of sexual expression was a major contributing factor to a bout of clinical depression) and definitely impacts my quality of life. Having to live disconnected from my own sexuality is extremely difficult for me, though I've obviously been surviving it for many years now.

But I could say the same thing about numerous parts of my life. Using the same criteria, I'm "obsessed" with having enough money to meet my responsibilities while also allowing me to pursue the things that I am passionate about. I'm "obsessed" with having a vibrant social life and strong community that allows me access to accomplishing things that I can't accomplish by myself. I'm "obsessed" about doing work that actually fulfills me. I'm "obsessed" about eating healthy, exercise, taking care of my home, and various other aspects of my life, because I recognize that those things are critical to my ability to have what I want in life.

But I've only been accused (on here and elsewhere IRL) of being "obsessed" with sex. No one seems to have a problem with the rest of my "obsessions", and many will even encourage me to pursue those "obsessions."

So why am I wrong to "obsess" about my sex life as well?