I have a great parallel.

Growing up in Budapest in the eighties, it was just accepted that boys fight and brawl a lot. Parents and teachers scolded us for it but did not really prevent it nor did they take legal action.

Most of these brawls were consensual - both kids wanted to fight. Sometimes it was not consensual - just some boys jump on another boy and beat him up. In this second case it is correct to call him a victim.

So. Imagine that you are there, 9 years old, and some neighbor kids just jump you and beat you up. You stand there, bloody nose, sporting a shiner. You go to your parents to complain. Or not, but they notice your state nevertheless. What do they do?

Well, of course, blame your for it. They just assume it was a consensual fight because that is the majority case. So you scold you, and call you a bad boy and blame you, the victim, for the crime of getting beaten. You have a shiner? Bad boy! Good boys don't get into fights! Good boys don't get into this kind of trouble! Why does Tom that Super Good Kid Over There Who Should Be Your Role Model TM never have a shiner or a bloody nose? (^^Because ^^mom ^^he ^^is ^^a ^^huge ^^dork ^^and ^^never ^^gets ^^out ^^of ^^the ^^house ^^to ^^play, ^^that ^^is ^^why...) But you are such a bad boy, just look at you, your nose is bloody, you have a shiner, you look like a total vagrant hobo, you always get yourself into fights. Be ashamed of yourself!

At some level it is understandable. Most fights were consensual. They could assume we lie.

Still if you imagine yourself in that situation you understand why does this kind of victim-blaming feel still brutally unjust. I am a bad boy for getting attacked? They give me a shiner and my parents scold me for it? What? How is that right?

So, this is how rape culture works as well.

I hope RP now gets it.

To BP: this is why it is bloody hard to tackle! If something happens 10 times consensually and 1 time not consensually, then people will just go with the majority case and victim-blame and so on... it is not a woman thing, and it does not happen so simply because society does not care what happens with women and this is not something that stops the second whem women will be fully equal. Rather it happens with everything where the majority case is consensual.