I'm a long time visitor of this sub but after much thought, I figured it be best to reach out for guidance.

Background: I'm a white male in America. College educated. Successful. Good looking. Fit. Confident. Stable and established, etc. I was red pilled hard in my 20's and I'm now in my mid 30's. I believe in the red pill philosophy. However, I also believe it is good to have a stable monogamous relationship once you find a woman truly worth investing your time.

That said, I now find myself at a crossroads. Overall, my girlfriend is great. She doesn't give me shit. I can go out with my friends whenever I want. She is attractive but not a supermodel by any means. She's also in her 30's. I wake up plenty of days to breakfast and coffee waiting for me. She is thoughtful and goes out of her way for me. She isn't a selfish person. She also has a lot more money than I do and is very generous. She has a loving, nurturing type of personality. Even still, my foundation is rock solid and I know if she walked away tomorrow, I'd be fine and would not have a problem finding a new girlfriend or just a fwb in no time.

The problem I'm dealing with right now is my girlfriend has all but lost her sex drive. It's an odd situation to find myself in. I have a very high sex drive. I want sex all the time. Where as she is fine not having sex at all. We've been together years and have had periods of not having sex for over two months at a time. It wasn't always this way. We talk openly about it. Frankly she says she doesn't know what her problem is. She's gone to the doctor. She's tried switching birth controls. She's tried going off birth control. She's tried the IUD which was a nightmare for her. Things have steadily gotten worse since the IUD because of how painful it was for her. Since having that removed, she often complains of pain when we do have sex. I think it traumatized her. Now when we have sex, she says my penis is too big for her and it is very painful. Like to the point where she is either holding back tears or just outright crying. In the last couple months, we've averaged having sex once a month. The last time we had sex, we had to use lube. I never used lube in life with anyone before.

Meanwhile, I am getting pressure every time I see her family about us not being engaged. With all the risks of marriage, she might be one of the very few worth settling down with but how do I tell her family we're not engaged because she has no sex drive?

I will say this, our careers were very stressful for a while. Things are settling down career wise so the stress levels have stabilized over the last six months to a year. I know this took a toll on me and I am sure it took a toll on her as well. The only time I ever felt like a beta was when I'd find myself complaining to her about my work or someone in the office. Looking back I worry that might have turned her off a little because it was the only time I showed weakness. However, this was over a year ago and I've since quit that job and now am on a much better path. She hasn't heard me complain about work or anything like that in at least nine months. That said, she was also having stress from her job. The commute only made it worse for her. She very recently switched jobs to a new firm that is a shorter commute and even more money.

So anyway, I'm looking for advice on how to handle this situation. Do I break up or try to hold on longer and see if her sex drive improves? Again, not so much that I'm worried about standing on my own again, just dealing with her low sex drive is not fun. It is a big sacrifice on my part. And getting the comments about us not being engaged only frustrates me more since no one knows what we're dealing with as a couple.