My anxiety takes control of me in social situations and I mess up completely.

hoopingblob · 2019-11-25T21:15:42+00:00

Meditate but in your home. Go outside and meditate and while you're on the way you can chat up with people. Start step by step.

Ask for a way (even if you know it, just ask)

After a week you can say that it's a nice weather today

After 2 weeks you can start complimenting them e.g that's a nice bag or that's a nice jacket or necklace/ring (yes, even old people)

After 3 weeks you can start a whole conversation with them and ask for their number if they want to hang out.

IcyBear7 · 2019-11-26T02:01:00+00:00

this is a pretty easy fix. Keep doing what you're doing - trying really hard not to be anxious or socially awkward while still getting disliked and disrespected left and right. Realize one day that you give up. Fuck what everyone else thinks, you were just trying to be friendly. Realize that maybe even though no one owes you friendship, that kinda goes the other way too and that you dont necessarily owe anyone being friendly either.

You further realize that maybe its best just to be friendly and chill but not for some goal as to make friends but because thats the sort of person you'd be even if you knew everyone was gonna be an ass to you anyways. Cause fuck it, maybe they're just shitty people.

As some french guy who was about to be executed once said, the biggest fuck you you can give to the guys trying to execute you is giving them a smile. In a similar vein, the biggest fuck you you can give to people who will not like you is to be completely over them and friendly anyways.

Later on you realize, you just sort of made up in your head that they were being assholes to you. Soem of them were actual assholes but really the majority of people just didnt want to be around someone so needy but now that you've learned to be chill and cool to hang out with for its own sake, you're actually fun to be around. Congratz you've now made friends because your focus is on enjoying life

guywhoisambitious · 2019-11-26T02:10:54+00:00

First of all take a break from reading trp. I personally took a 1 year break from all this! Non of this means crap if you don’t SLOWLY implement it in your life. In terms of going out and socializing, it takes time man, sometimes much longer for some people (like myself). Socializing didn’t come easy for me. Took years. Now I’m pretty much a natural. Practice is the only way. Not theory. Not reading. Make small measurable goals for yourself. For example tell yourself you’re going to go out once per week. Join social clubs if you’re at school. Make a goal to talk to random people throughout the day. Don’t overwhelm yourself, 1 small thing at a time. And make sure you’re doing what you like and enjoying life. Good luck bro

InkD_PipeHittR · 2019-11-25T21:53:48+00:00

I am a people pleaser in the sense that when people say shit to me I dont react but I dont give them shit back either- most definitely because i want to be a part of their group and I feel like arguing with them will just make things worse.

And they know this. If they are doing nothing to add value to your life, then why would you want to be a part of their group? You teach people how to treat you, and you're showing them you'll accept being the lowest status person in the group.

Title	My anxiety takes control of me in social situations and I mess up completely.
Author	throaway69404
Upvotes	2
Comments	5
Date	November 25, 2019 8:12 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/e1lvd5/my_anxiety_takes_control_of_me_in_social/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/my-anxiety-takes-control-of-me-in-social.296618 https://theredarchive.com/post/296618

Comments