I cant get rid of TRP ideology but I want to.

beckoning_cat · 2017-12-20T03:29:24+00:00

There is no such thing as alpha or beta.the biologist who coined the term has been fighting the ideology for 30 years and admits it was a grave mistake. It doesn't apply to wolves much less to extremely sociologically and biologically complex creatures like humans. People who use these terms just sound ignorant.

Men tend to affair for reasons unrelated to the marriage, like binge drinking or drugs, it is an escape. Women tend to affair because they are unhappy with the marriage itself. The 50% divorce rate is also a big myth. Never trust a stat that blankets people and doesn't factor in demographics. The divorce rate depends on education, economic status and other factors. For the upper class, it is only 5%, for poverty classes, it is 25%. You have also made a blanket statement that women cheat for money and men cheat for younger women and just like the alpha/beta nonsense, it isn't true. Married men are actually happier and report a more satisfying sex life than their single counterparts. Women don't like a man for money, just someone stable and productive and is supportive of them I have a male friend who just left his job to be a stay at home dad. And he will be a great one.

By trying to put people into categories will stimy your relationships and prevent you from forming deep relationships with people if you are running around with pre-conceived notions of human behavior.

I also sense that you just have a lot of anxiety about relationships in general. I think the best thing you can do for yourself is to work on your own self confidence. More than anything, the sexiest thing to a woman is self confidence. I think maybe it is this anxiety that pushed you to RP beliefs to begin with. That your insecurity pushed you to put up barriers to protect yourself from forming deep relationships.

Work on yourself. No one can love you till you love yourself.no one can make you happy but you. A relationship isn't two halves making a whole, it is two wholes sharing life. If you can grow till feel secure enough to find someone to love you, you will find someone equally up to the task.

After a disastrous marriage, I took years doing soul searching and the hardest thing I had to learn is that you get the love you think you deserve. Not on the surface, but how you really feel subconsciously. So build yourself up so you can find the love you actually deserve.

You are halfway there. Realizing what toxic behavior that the RP is and how it can harm you is a tremendous step and a great step towards growth. You should be proud of yourself and take it as a sign that you have great potential.

If you want to further rid yourself of the toxicity, rid yourself of using "females" to refer to women. 😁

I wish you the best of luck and will be willing to help in anyway I can. Congrats on your journey.

JosefHader · 2017-12-20T10:38:02+00:00

It would be best if you just stopped watching this crap and got out in the real world. Red Pill is a cult, all this terminoloyg you are using is really toxic and it will shape your interactions with other people to the point that there will be self-fulfilling prophecies.

Please try to think of women like human beings with interests and goals that have nothing to do with anything a Redpiller says. Women and men are not so different in what they expect from a partner. They want a partner with similar goals in life that they can work towards together, be it a family, a career, helping other people, or all of the above. They want someone who is supportive. And of course they want someone they are attracted to - an attraction that will be based on a mixture of physical and personality traits.

The cock carousel, hitting the wall, etc.pp. - that is stuff that doesn't exist.

You are 18 years old - find out what you want, and then work towards it. But don't make the mistake to see women as some mysterious beings that aren't real people. Engage with real people in the real world and you'll find women are not so different from men.

raziphel · 2017-12-20T16:24:39+00:00

I would suggest learning about cult manipulation and indoctrination techniques, as well as emotional manipulation and abuse. You'll see a lot of those tactics in TRP and PUA. Learn them, recognize them, name them, and you'll be better at dealing with them.

Read up on how the human mind works: notably tribalism, sellfishness, rationalization of the subconscious, emotional management, the fallibility of human observation, the rashomon effect, sociopathy, non-verbal communication, observation bias and social lenses, and how easily we can be manipulated by propaganda. Humans are surprisingly easy to affect, and they'll believe a lot of bad things to be true and then back those feelings up with shit logic.

Also, any group that encourages you to shit on others to make yourself feel superior (like calling someone else a beta cuck or promotes the idea that all women are selfish and evil, for example, but also racist and nationalist groups) should immediately be suspect because they are abusive. They target the easily manipulated and the self-centered.

Address the insecurity issues and depression as well. You might need to talk to a therapist.

[deleted] · 2017-12-22T15:52:22+00:00

you just stepped out of a toxic cult that fed you simplified dogma and made you feel crap about yourself. Take responsibility, ask yourself why you were so insecure as to listen to this ideology in the first place.

A little thought i want to share with you:

Do all men want to have sex with any girl they feel is attractive? Hell yeah! Do all men have sex with any girl they can get their hands on, while they are in love with a specific girl? Hell no!

The same is true for women.

TRP is all about misogyny and preaching male superiority. Which is

a.) wrong b.) sexist af c.) deluded and blind d.) a means of feeling better about themselves

Self improvement and maximizing one's happiness is alright. Preaching that women are incapable of empathy and love, leadership and self reliance and don't really count as self motivated, self reflected human beings is not.

BigAngryDinosaur · 2017-12-20T18:46:40+00:00

First, stop consuming the material that is making you feel this way.

When something you're indulging in is not making you happy, it's a sign that it's becoming a dependency. This applies to drugs and alcohol as well as the things you read and think about.

This shit is making you overthink and become paranoid about basic, normal, healthy human interaction that is not very complicated. Of course you're anxious about the possibilities of what happens in a relationship, but you're not there yet. You probably haven't had a deep emotional connection to another human in the way that most normal, healthy, average adults do. You have many years ahead of you to experience these things, and you don't need a manual for it. You don't need to read all kinds of neurotic bullshit to clog up your head and cause you to sabotage your own chances for happiness. It's making you afraid of something that becomes very easy if you don't dwell on everything that can go wrong.

None of those videos or forums have answers for you. It's mindless trolling, clickbait scams, people trying to make you feel bad because they feel bad and don't want to be alone in their misery. They are scared and depressed and want you to be also. Stop letting them Redpill you.

That's right, everything they say you need to do to have a relationship or whatever, all the manipulation, the tactics, tricks to make your partner feel certain ways and train them like a dog. The whole system is using those exact same tricks on you. You're getting hooked into an abusive relationship you can't get out of because like an abusive relationship, it's beating you down and making you feel worthless without it. Why are you letting losers online abuse you and make you keep crawling back to them?

I've been married 20 years. It's amazing and wonderful and I have my best friend with me every day. I have a lot of friends who are also in great relationships and have love and security in their life because they allowed themselves to go through the natural process of meeting people, making mistakes, learning, getting up and knowing better next time how to be better, do better and become more emotionally healthy. It has far less to do with looks and getting jacked and acting macho and far more to do with being a person who understands other people and being a good person. Grown-up land looks nothing like the bleak world TRP is painting for you. At least, it doesn't have to look like that. The choice is always in your hands what kind of life you will live.

TrueRustyShackleford · 2017-12-23T23:53:07+00:00

OP, what helps me stay away from the red pill (I was never part of them, but I want to keep it that way) are the following things, maybe they'll help you too.

1) Red pill contains some core truths or touches on them (but with the wrong explanation), so you don't have to reject it 100% to be a decent person, just that thought can take some pressure of your shoulders. You do have to remain skeptical though, as with everything. Example: the 70% of married people cheat statistic is bullshit, it simply is. That said, women realy do cheat just as much as men. Some studies suggest it's about 50% of men and women who've cheated, but most of them didn't cheat in every relationship they had, so your actual chances of getting cheated on in any given relationship are lower than 50%, and that average includes all the people who would be at home in an episode of Jerry Springer or Maury (I'll return to that in point 3) ). Another example: women find 80% of men below average looking, but that's only when they have nothing but a picture to go on. Most girls in your class won't think 80% of her male classmates are below average attractive levels.

2) For many red pill truisms you can think of a female version to intuitively wrap your mind around how unrealistic or exaggerated those truisms really are. Example: if you can honestly say you're not a cheater and wouldn't dump your girlfriend for the first pretty girl who smiles at you, and neither are most of your male friends and other normal dudes you know then maybe it's unreasonable to have a deep mistrust of every woman out there, no?

3) Red pill views of women DO apply to a certain subset of women. There definitely exist a type of vapid, entitled party girl who behave exactly like the red pill describes and red pill men seem particularly attracted to those girls. But this does not mean that all women are like that, it's not even a majority, hell, not even a majority of attractive women. You need to weed women out when you start dating: you have the right to turn women down and you're not obligated to "put all your passion" into a woman you haven't had the time to get to properly know and vet. You're also not obligated to get married without a prenup.

4) Sometimes life is hard: if you're not the most attractive dude then there's no magical formula that lets you land the most attractive girl. Another way to look at it is by going back to point 2): if you think girls are stupid for falling for handsome bad boys who'll only hurt them then maybe you are stupid for chasing after hot vapid, entitled party girls who'll only hurt you (I'm not saying you're doing that, most normal men don't, it's just that red pill types often do that). You're 5'9" so you're not going to get with a 6'1" Swedish lingerie model, you know that, but there are still attractive girls who are 5'6", pick your battles!

And yes, you can get cheated on, or get trapped into a sexless marriage, even if you "do everything right", there are no guarantees in life, the universe doesn't care. But if you never take chances you never get anywhere either.

mouseattackattack · 2017-12-22T22:16:12+00:00

The first thing to get out of your mind is that all women are whores. This is false and just not a good mindset to go about life. Women, like men, are humans. Some women want to have sex a lot and some don't. Some men want to have sex a lot and some don't. Some people like romantic gestures while others don't. Some enjoy having sex with strangers while others don't. It's not that women and men are different. It's that all people are different.

I was into the PUA stuff when I was younger. 17 and 18. I never got into red pill but I was huge on the PUA. Did you ever see the MTV show with Mystery? I remember it being pretty entertaining. I bought The Game and a buddy of mine and I would wear weird clothes and try to pick up girls at our local mall. We didn't really have an endgame beyond getting phone numbers.

The biggest thing I've actually kept from my PUA times is that confidence and respect are what a good social life is all about. I have no desire to have sex with a stranger. I've never done it, but I really don't have a desire, and it seems like you don't either. If you want to connect with women and build relationships with them that eventually lead to sex then you have to have confidence in yourself and respect for others.

Building your confidence and having an innate respect for others will allow you to foster stronger relationships, including friendships.

Friendships are good practice for building romantic or sexual relationships. Don't get nervous that a woman who wants to spend time with you is going to suddenly run away. It doesn't seem like you're in a relationship, but the best advice I can give you is two things. 1) If someone is hanging out with you then they enjoy your company. 2) If you feel insecure communicate that to your partner.

pillsandspoons · 2017-12-20T16:24:10+00:00

oh man I am going to the exact same fucking thing.

That all women have a secret alpha who they send nudes and fuck all the time.
Every woman is just acting all the time about being innocent, coy and religious while when they meet the alpha the slut comes out.
All the time clubbing people into alpha and beta categories.

The worst is how my mind makes detailed movies about this girl who rejected me, fucking some alpha male back home and no matter how much I try to wash it out it keeps coming back!

Obviously I am more invested in her because of the rejection which a part of me just doesn't believe because I thought all the while her reaction would be a little different. She probably feels something for me but seems she doesn't. And she in fact IS the shy, coy girl which made me fall for her in the first place, but still my mind fucks me that she's got some guy over right now fucking her without condoms lol!

I have made up my mind to do some therapy to work this out. I'm already 26 now, wasted quite some time thinking in TRP black and white terms.

As for as your queries about PUAs go. The thing is approaching a gal, getting numbers etc is actually a very common natural human experience, the PUA guys just make it complex to sell it. And yes some of it might help you too, like using lines etc. so use the crutch till you can start walking.

jennychan_fla · 2017-12-24T18:03:01+00:00

Separate the good stuff from TRP and PUA. The good stuff is that working out, reading, and acting confident and outgoing will make you a better person.

The bad stuff can easily be spotted when they imply all women are selfish, shallow, are cheating, and care about money. Fact is you and the other men come off just as selfish and greedy. There is more to life than sex. Look at the stats throughout history: it is the men who do the most of the bad stuff in relationships. You can find a fellow girl nerd one day. Stop trying to get the cheerleader.

alcockell · 2018-01-03T07:40:24+00:00

Things like young women who only fuck and ride the "cock carousel" and marry a beta buck when they turn 30

And? What is bad about it even if it's true? Don't men want to fuck everything until they reach certain age, then marry some virgin or almost virgin or whatever?

Who are you (and I) to judge people?

hyacinth_girl · 2018-01-08T07:51:13+00:00

I totally understand YouTube addiction. Check out the amazing channels hbomberguy, contrapoints, and Shaun and Jen. They have great videos debunking PUA, red pill, alpha/beta, and other issues connected to redpill.

intjdad · 2018-01-14T09:26:45+00:00

A pua isn't gonna steal her. Have you ever seen a woman who immediately screams "I have a boyfriend!" when a guy even talks to her? That's how honestly a lot of women are.

[deleted] · 2018-01-19T20:41:34+00:00

"I guess my insecurity lies on my future relationships having the fear that I would fall in love with a woman that I trust and put all of my passion in her for someone like a PUA to just ruin it all by fucking her."

That is the risk you run with any woman. Whether she was a slut or a church girl, that dynamic will remain. You're best option is to find a girl that would make you willing to take that risk, and that would make you think that even if that does end up happening, it was worth the time you spent with her.

There are millions of men in the world. Truly ask yourself: why would this girl choose ME, when she has a million other options? Relationships, while sometimes wonderful things, are full of risks and potential losses. You have to make sure you really want one and if you're willing to take the risks, then you'll be happier once you decided.

Title	I cant get rid of TRP ideology but I want to.
Author	master3786
Upvotes	18
Comments	53
Date	December 20, 2017 1:52 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/7ky4g6/i_cant_get_rid_of_trp_ideology_but_i_want_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/i-cant-get-rid-of-trp-ideology-but-i-want-to.300138 https://theredarchive.com/post/300138

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