Hi fellas,

I am in need of anybody's help, please be kind.

Been red pilled for 3 years, approaching my mid 20s. From eastern Europe. I thought I nailed most things about RP and relationships, if not everything. I was invincible, charming, successful.

Then someone came along. I figured she was cute, young as legally possible, full of joy... worth a shot. Didn't really care about her at the time, was just texting and hanging out whenever I wished, keeping the funny and cocky style.

Yet I went through some serious shit, which lead me to want a relationship to feel happier and safer in life.

I made sure she didn't have red flags. Actually felt like she was perfect. Just like that we started a LTR.

For me, she has always been everything I needed, while she and all her friends adored me. For the first time in my life I had my dream relationship.

After about 4 months, she and her friends decided that we were not the right couple for various sensible reasons. She attempted to leave me. I was shocked and broke down because I thought the BP dream mixed with RP was real. Was a real bad day for me, but I acted cool despite my feelings and she came back crying and begging 1 day later, saying I am a perfect person.

Eventually, we had couple of more minor arguments and had to break up ultimately due to her disinterest.

Now, I really loved her, never once wished there was something else for me. Yet due to the latest problems, I took the break up well. Naturally I suffered a bit, but it was manageable.

Now fast forward 2 months, I was still thinking about her maybe 30 minutes a day during my commute and alone time.

Then I learned that she started a new LTR and is happier than ever before, claiming to have the perfect bf for him. And also learned that they are sexually very active.

I somehow felt extremely betrayed. Because without realizing, I was fantasizing about her coming back to me deep inside my heart. But as they call it the Light switch effect, she acts as if she found her life's meaning with the new guy while I am nothing more than an unimportant past dude.

I never felt this strong of a pain due to losing someone I love. After our ~6 months of LTR and all my warmest feelings for her, all it took was 2 months for her.

I know there are way worse stories. I know that the pain would pass with time. But it stinks. I don't feel like doing anything. I don't enjoy anything, especially the boring stuff like work. I keep having emotional breakdowns and have no joy left in me.

I feel I should hate or at least not care about her. But even after 3 years of RP I still wish she'd magically come back. I know it is extremely stupid and weak. That is what I became these days.

I don't know, wish there was an easy way to move forward in time, the pain is disgusting. I am also disappointed that once and again a BP dream died. Admittedly, that is all I care about deep down. To love and be loved. I earn very good money for my age and I have high "stats" in life in general, but what for? I don't enjoy the fact that each time I become less and less hopeful either.

Before you tell me to get laid to move past, maybe later, I am not interested at all for now.

And I will start lifting back again - I was already lifting while we were together though.

I don't know guys, wish life wasn't as harsh. I believe I did everything right this time. But it didn't work out anyway. Now it is time to meaninglessly suffer for weeks if not months. Fuck.