The one who originally brought me here. We had hooked up once, but no more before an LJBF that I stupidly accepted and rode to a clown world of cuckoldry and pain. After initially ghosting her for years and discovering TRP, she unexpectedly came back after seeing my improved profile and proceeded to take a shit on my first real test to apply it. Played on my guilt for not saying why I left. Like a true paper tiger gump, I folded.

I feel like a faggot for even letting it get this far after reading everything, but it took several rounds of ghosting out and running back before finally deciding to verbally declare the end and shoot this shit in the head for good. Around this time I'd be getting blown up with texts about nothing. They're not coming because I made her stop sending them. Told her to replace me on her emergency contact list. She cried. She'll likely be all over this in no time, as I know women do, but I know I'll be in this mental space longer. My male protector instinct is making me worry about a chick who only even made my dick spurt one time. It's so pants on head retarded to be aware and still need help.

I'd read all the sidebar theory, but this was the final cord that needed to be cut in real life. She called me her best friend. Her soul mate. Bought me books, meal and gifts. I know I was really just the best time ho. I know I was seen as a genetic joke. A mobile emotional tampon. A utility. All of that. That's why I had to fucking leave. But how do I beat my brain's insistence on pumping out chemicals to convince me of the illusion that I just stabbed a unicorn to death?

If I can't beat this level one crap, I'll never be able to handle cutting down any LTR that gets goofy or cheats on me years down the line when I'm actually ready for that. Obviously not now

About to lift btw