Competency and Good Looks of an Idealized Alpha, Character of a Biblical Alpha

rocknrollchuck · 2018-04-02T23:06:34+00:00

Many are not blessed in such ways. Many of us, myself included, feel we've not been dealt with such a hand. Though we might have reason to lament we aren't as competent and good looking as we would like

Brother, you're not starving in Africa or having your house burned down by angry Hindus in India. Count yourself blessed.

I'm in a situation where I've never been married, I'm old, and taking care of my widowed mother. She can hardly walk and I must do everything for her and I'm not able to get out of the house 24/7.

How old are you? And I'm in the same boat, taking care of my elderly mother - although I have my wife and son to help me. It's a challenge, I agree. You're doing the right thing and will have rewards in heaven.

Thankfully I was hired to do research into Christian apologetics and I can work from home and care for her.

So God has you set up perfectly to accomplish what He wants to do with your life.

I doing unglamorous jobs to ensure my father's widow is properly cared for when she would be otherwise abandoned by other family members. For it says in 1 Tim 5:4

But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to shew piety at home, and to requite their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God.

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Btw, here is some of my apologetics work:

and in that post it says

Salvador has 4 science degrees most recently an MS in Applied Physics from Johns Hopkins University, was a junior scientist and senior engineer in the aerospace and defense industry. He owns a small financial and research business through which he signed a contract in 2014 as a research assistant for geneticist John Sanford who invented a process that created most of the genetically modified organisms (GMOs) on the planet.

Seems to me like a guy in your position should have enough money to hire some help. That's the first thing I would look into. There's nothing wrong with having people help you care for your mother, you don't have to do everything yourself.

But I find solace that I'm doing the right thing now despite all the regrettable mistakes I've made. I'm trusting that God will work all things for the good of those who love Him. I believe if I love God, then he will work out all things for the good, even the things I've messed up....

We've all made mistakes and have things we regret. Is there anything that is so bad that God cannot forgive and give a fresh start through Jesus Christ?

The Biblical Alpha is a guy who does his duty when there is no glamor in it, when the most important approval is being approved of by the Lord. Yeah, I want to be deeply approved of by a beautiful young woman, but I'll despise myself if don't try to hold my life together, suck up the regrets, and do the right thing every day.

To be a man is to have the ability to do what is needed rather than what is wanted, and to do so without an expectation of appreciation.

I won't even presume that I'm as worthy as Ezekiel to have a dream girl, but I know I've got to do the right thing.

Why wouldn't God give you what you desire? Psalm 37:4 says "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart." So do you believe this or not?

Every day we have chances to get upset and stressed out. Life is full of hassles. There is always something that can steal our joy. But we must have the right approach to life. At the first part of every day, we need to decide that no matter what comes against us, we are not going to get upset. It’s good to have plans, but we should submit them to God and just say “God, this is what I’d like to get done today, but You are in control so I submit my plans to you. I’m deciding right now that no matter what comes my way I am going to stay in peace, knowing You are directing my steps.” If you’ll learn to do this, then when unexpected things come you’ve already decided that you are not going to let those things steal your joy. And when those problems come, when our plans don’t work out, when somebody irritates us, we need to decide right away that we are not going to get upset or lose our joy. We have the power to stay in peace. No person can make you be unhappy. Nothing that happens can force you to get upset. You have complete control over how peaceful and how happy you want to live. One of the keys to enjoying life is that you must take responsibility for your own happiness. Remember that the reason for a believer’s joy is not because things are going right in his life. It is because he has repented of his sin and put his trust and faith in Jesus alone to save him, which means he has been granted eternal life. If you focus on eternal life instead of where you are now and your problems, you will always have peace and joy.

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And we all know there are many reasons to get upset. Family problems, negative people, problems at school, and our own personal problems and challenges are just a few. But you can be happy right where you are. You may be in a hard situation but God has given you strength for every battle. He said He would never let you go through more than you can handle. You can have joy right there in the midst of that problem if you’ll simply have the right approach. Jesus put it this way in John 14:27: “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you….Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” Notice that it’s a decision YOU have to make. One of the best things you can learn is that you don’t always need to have your way to be happy. Your plans don’t have to work out in order for you to have a good day. When you have the right attitude, all those things that used to upset you in the past won’t anymore. You need to decide that you are done letting problems and circumstances upset you and decide to live your life happy.

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The truth is, you could take somebody with the right attitude and put them in your same situation and they wouldn’t be stressed or upset. They would still be enjoying their life. Why? They know that God is in control, and their steps are being ordered by The Lord. They’ve trained themselves to stay in peace. The power to stay in peace doesn’t come from being able to control everything that happens, but in being able to control our own attitude and rise above the negative things in our lives. The apostle Paul never prayed for people to be delivered from their problems -- he prayed that God would give them the strength to go through them with a good attitude. Many times we ask God to deliver us from people who cause problems in our lives, but the truth is that those people may never change. We cannot wait for other people to change -- WE must change. You have the power right now to live a joy-filled, faith-filled, peace-filled life, but you have to come to the point where you give it all to God and start totally trusting Him to work it out for you.

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And remember, anything you need to have in order to be happy is something the devil can use against you. For instance, if you think your coach or the people on your team have to change before you can enjoy soccer, you’ll go to every practice dreading it and thinking that’s the reason you can’t be happy. When you believe that you must have something in order to be happy, most of the time that will only cause God to hold that thing back from you. Yes it’s good to have hopes and dreams. But don’t sit around waiting for those things, thinking that’s when you’ll be happy. This is the day The Lord has made. Not tomorrow, not when all your dreams come to pass, not when all the negative people are changed -- but TODAY. Understand that God has you right where He wants you, and if you’ll learn to be happy where you are God will get you where you need to be. He promised in Psalm 37:4 that “If you delight yourself in The Lord, He will give you the desires of your heart.” If there’s something you really want, just give it to Him in prayer and say “God, I would really love to have this. You know the desire You put in me, but I’m not waiting on that to be happy. I’m happy right where You have me.” That’s the kind of attitude God is looking for. That’s when God will show up and fight your battles for you. He will make sure that you get every good thing He has planned for you.

BrotherChad · 2018-04-02T21:12:10+00:00

Lots of self-pity in this post. You will never be content with your life so long as you compare yourself to other people. There is no "dream girl" or "happily ever after." Its admirable that you are taking care of your mother but you need to stop sulking in your past and just take responsibility for where you are at now. Not sure what the point of this post is but there is nothing Alpha about seeking validation for your sob story.

Red-Curious · 2018-04-03T05:46:55+00:00

Let's be clear: alpha and godly are not the same thing. They often overlap, but are two separate spectrums. A guy can be truly alpha and not godly at all. He can also be truly godly and not alpha at all (depending on life context). Ideally a man should be both alpha and godly, particularly if he is to be married.

I'm not a fan of the "a true alpha acts in such and such godly way" sentiment. We can say this definitively of a godly man, but it means something different to be an alpha man. As CS Lewis would say, "We already have a word for godly: godly." So let's not start confusing terms.

Now, all of that being said, it does seem that you are acting in godliness with respect to caring for your widowed loved one (circumstance dependent, of course). But nothing in this post implies alpha. It sounds like you're trying to rationalize your isolation and still feel like a "man" (whatever that means to you).

In reality, don't give a squat what we think or whether or not people see you as a "real man." Don't rationalize or justify your life. Doing so proves the opposite of your claim. You want to stay single and take care of your mother in law? Go for it. You don't need our stamp of approval. You want to ditch her and go find a girl? That's none of our business.

Being alpha doesn't mean you prove your alphaness to other dudes, which only really serves to limit or control your choices to that which you think will cause other guys to perceive you as alpha. The real alpha doesn't care if other men think he is beta ... something that's really hard to figure out from the secular RP subs who will say DNGAF then ridicule you and attempt to get you to GAF about their opinions.

Long story short, you're doing some good things here, but you also seem to be missing the point and confusing terms. I hope this reply helps straighten things out a bit for you :) Sorry if it comes off as unnecessarily harsh ... my mental filter is garbage when on mobile.

Willow-girl · 2018-04-04T12:30:41+00:00

One woman told me (who was obviously interested in me), " you could be married in a year if you wanted, you have all the qualities." I appreciated her thoughts, but it's not what God has for me now...

Why not? It's not an either-or, you know! My man and I also take care of his elderly mother, who lives next door to us (in fact I'm going over to clean her house later this morning). Your family responsibilities shouldn't preclude having a wife; you just have to find one to whom the compromise is acceptable. (And it may require you to stand up to Mom, which may or may not be an issue in your case.)

JT-Anderson · 2018-04-14T23:42:45+00:00

You're doing the right thing by taking care of your mother.

But don't forget that you are created in the image of God. Just as God created the world, you too have the ability to:

Envision what you want

Make it happen

Judge whether your present condition is "good"

If staying home 24/7 with your mother is not what satisfies you (and what man would be?), hire a young woman. Who knows? Perhaps she'll prove to be wife material :-)

Title	Competency and Good Looks of an Idealized Alpha, Character of a Biblical Alpha
Author	stcordova
Upvotes	7
Comments	11
Date	April 2, 2018 5:00 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RPChristians
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/8919g6/competency_and_good_looks_of_an_idealized_alpha/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RPChristians/competency-and-good-looks-of-an-idealized-alpha.301970 https://theredarchive.com/post/301970

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