I've posted on the MRP site but have tried to keep my mouth shut, sit back and listen, read the side bar, and apply what I've learned. What I have learned is how to be a better leader in my marriage in areas that I had let go, how to separate being a "nice guy" and a Christian man, and how to know that I have to get to a point where I'll be okay if my marriage survived or not. You see, I thought (and what brought me to the RP) my wife's battle with mid-life hormones and other mental disorders. However, what I've learned recently is that my battle has been with the alcohol bottle and binge drinking.

Searching old posts, I saw that the u/Bluepillprofessor often said that MRP is specifically designed for those in a dead bedroom, not for dealing with alcoholic wives. My bedroom was not dead, and I'm learning he was right on. My wife is a "SAHM", I now work from home. I sometimes travel for work and on a recent trip, she loaded up on booze and later my kids told me that a couple of the evenings she went upstairs in the room and never returned for hours and was in "her mood". I've been able to now track these "moods", with the lies of needing to go to the store, and the empty bottles she's been hiding.

Thank you guys for your discussions on divorce, as the Christian men I've talked to (before knowing about the booze) always basically said that no matter how bad she treats our family, I need to love her like Christ because she hasn't cheated and that's the only "out". I have not received counsel from my church as they appear to be just as soft and male-bashing as most other churches. I have been part of a NMMNG group and sadly, that's helped more the my Christian brothers.

I have already started moving money around as paying the bills was something I gave her to do, and she cannot be trusted. She doesn't know that I know she's drinking. After urging her to see a doc for her mental struggles, she did, and is now popping pills the Dr. is prescribing for her supposed mental ailments and I bet doc doesn't know she's binge drinking 3-4 days/week on top of it. I will be letting her know that I know what's going on, and that I will not be married to an alcoholic and under no circumstances will I let my kids stay in this environment. I have found a local Al-anon group that I will go to as well this week. I have also reached out to an attorney and soon will be looking at how bad my divorce rape is going to be.

I'm mad. We've been married over two decades and just bought our first home <1 yr. ago. I'm not leaving my house or my kids. I thought she was drinking and hiding it to cope with her mental issues and it was just a little and not impacting her mood. I now know for a fact this is not the case.

Did MRP save my marriage? No...but it made me stronger to now deal with this in a completely different way than I would have a year ago. I don't expect her to be able to stop short of a miracle, so I'm expecting this marriage to be over.

Tl:Dr - The redpill truly is that. You pull off your virtual reality glasses and realize you're not where you thought you were. I found out I've been married to a drunk and now need to save me and my kids. It didn't make my marriage better, but it sure made me wiser and more prepared for the next battle that lies ahead.

Any advice you guys have on how to prep for divorce is greatly appreciated. I've been documenting the days she's using, her treatment of the kids when using and I've opened up a new bank account (need to move my direct dep. next) and worst of all, I have told my oldest old son (over 18) as I think he may need to keep her from driving with the kids if I'm ever not at home. I've have discovered that she's already done this once, which is why I'm really about to blow this marriage up.