28yo, wife 31yo. 5'7" 146# ~15%bf
Squat 5x200#, Deadlift 5x250#, Bench 4x150#, Overhead Press 4x105#
We've all heard it a thousand times: You can't negotiate desire.
Okay. Got it. Lifting/running for six months. I'm the hot guy at the gym now. Wife is super submissive compared to before. She seeks to please me consistently in everything except sex.
However, we're still climbing out of our dead bedroom. She still has a lot of emotional ties to how badly I behaved sexually towards her when I was a fat, beta, blue-pill dumb-dumb.
I get it. I can't negotiate whether or not she wants to have sex with me.
Yet, now that she has desire, it seems like she's not sure what to do with it (and scared she's gonna get burned again by the old me). It seems like we need to negotiate the when/where/how of establishing a healthy sex life as a married couple.
u/Deep_Strength shared some really helpful advice. My wife and I went out for coffee and opened the door to some really good, intimate conversations. As I move forward, what should I be on the lookout for? What are some red flags? What are some good signs?
Before you ask: So far these conversations have followed the same Captain/First Officer dynamic that we use in all other areas of our life. She's on the one hand desperate for my leadership in this area but also holding onto self-protection because of how extremely vulnerable sex requires her to be.