I'm torn between two women

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October 10, 2019

I've been with one girl for almost two years now. The relationship had it's ups and downs but I didn't like that she lied constantly and lacked communication skills.

This summer I met another girl and got her number. We fell for each other so I broke up with the first girl. The first girl is almost done with her master's degree and the one I met this summer never finished college and works as a CNA but she's much more talkative, happy and honest; She's always laughing and sees things in me. The other girl also supports me and I see her more. She's a sex addict so the sex is better with her. When I broke up with her, she had sex with 7 guys she messaged on Tinder for sex. I was so devastated that I immediately took her back. Even after she did that, I still can't find the strength to let her go. I told the other girl that I slept with her and she was very upset but forgave me. I really like this other girl but I can only see her 2 days a week because of our schedules.

Post Information
Title I'm torn between two women
Author spacemanu
Upvotes 0
Comments 23
Date 10 October 2019 05:33 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askRPC
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/304621
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askRPC/comments/dg1fxj/im_torn_between_two_women/
Similar Posts

[–]OrlandoTheAxe7 points8 points  (3 children) | Copy

Premarital sex is a sin. I don't know why you're so surprised that you're being called out when you posted on a Christian forum.

Here's what I get from reading this:


Girl #1

  • Pathological liar
  • Won't communicate
  • Horribly promiscuous
  • Manipulative
  • Non-Christian
  • Oh, but she's educated. Yee yee.

Girl #2

  • Doesn't sound like she's a Christian either
  • Uneducated
  • Has low standards


  • Oneitis
  • Can't or won't stick up for yourself
  • Dependent on others for validation
  • Either saved a with seared conscience or Christian in name only


Neither of them are doing you any good. You aren't doing yourself good either. Dump both of them and focus on you. Turn from sexual immorality and get serious about your faith and becoming a man.

The guys around here can help, but you gotta start listening. I hope you stick around.

[–]Red-Curious2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Best reply here. Well said, and so succinctly.

[–]spacemanu1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Thanks for your honest reply. I admit I'm a sinner and I think I finally found my crowd. Anyway, no the new girl isn't Christian, she's Muslim. Any input on that?

[–]OrlandoTheAxe3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

The Scripture makes it clear that that is unacceptable. 2 Corinthians 6:14 "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?

Hard choices, but that's why Matthew 7:14 says "For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few." The hard choices are what separate the genuine article from the guy who says "God will forgive me; I'll just repent later." and then never does.

[–]rocknrollchuck6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ok, so you're living like the world, banging different girls, and are surprised when they end up not being what you wanted? That at least one of them cheats on you? Ever heard the saying "You can't make a hoe a housewife"? Well it's true.

Look, everybody is beating you up here and honestly, what did you expect? You say you came here looking for biblical reasoning and that's good. But you can't live like the world and expect Christian results. Either you trust in Christ, repent of your sin and live for God instead of yourself, or you live like everybody else and get worldly results.

So if you want my honest opinion on your original question of being torn between two women, neither one is a good choice. But the point is to be a better man and live for Christ, and so the Holy Spirit will help you make better, more godly choices.

[–]redwall923 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Also, I'll give you the same advice you got on one of your recent posts...


Just think in a few years you’ll get to ask your wife’s boyfriend for advice!

[–]Praexology4 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy

What are you looking for with posting this?

You don't seem to value Biblical reasoning at all.

[–]redwall923 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Hey ... he's a Christian. He just doesn't want to have sex with more than one woman at a time.


I was dealt a sh**** hand when it comes to the moralistic lottery: It upsets me to have sex with multiple girls at once.

Why are you bringing Biblical reasoning into this at all, bro!? He's not asking for that sort of response. He just wants you to choose which girl he should have sex with.

Girl 1


Girl 2

[–]Praexology2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think he should go Dr. Mengele on them. Cut off a few body parts and stitch them together. Then marry that unholy amalgamation.

Checkmate God.

[–]spacemanu-5 points-4 points  (3 children) | Copy

If I didn't value biblical reasoning why would I be asking a question to a Christian sub? Also, if you value biblical reasoning, why didn't you attempt to help me fix my problem with a Christ-like response instead of judging me?

[–]Praexology2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I am not your eternal judge, you are correct with this, but I am called to address obvious BS.

Okay, I'll bite. It's a sin to be having premarital sex. You shouldn't be sleeping with either of them.

There is a reasonable amount of expectation for people posting here to do SOME of the legwork. Perceivably you've done none.

Also, what Bible have you been reading? Jesus and the disciples write huge swaths of the Bible convicting others of blatant sin.

[–]redwall922 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Christian advice ... ok. Here goes...

Turn the other cheek? Does that fit here?

Don't sell yourself short. She got you back with only 7 penises this time. Make sure she understands that next time you're not taking her back unless she does at least twice that many penises.

Boundaries and standards, yo.

[–]Deep_Strength2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Also, if you value biblical reasoning, why didn't you attempt to help me fix my problem with a Christ-like response instead of judging me?

Matthew 7:1 “Do not judge so that you will not be judged. 2 For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. 3 Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.

We are to judge by the measure in which we want to be judged, not that we should not judge at all.

The Christian response is don't have premarital sex. If you value a Biblical Christian response, drop both girls, repent of your sin, and focus on becoming more like Christ by abstaining from sex and increasing your self control.

[–]helaughsinhidden4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

Look, don't take this the wrong way, I am totally being serious and you might not want to hear this. You need to go monk mode for a while. You are using women and sex for validation, you are needy, you don't have any frame, you are living to please your flesh, and are making a lot of really bad choices.

For the next month, ghost all women, pray, read a chapter from Proverbs, hit the gym and lift, pray morning and night, daily. No drugs, no internet, no alcohol, no porn, no junk food, no soda. Just clean food and water. Week 1 read the book of John, week 2 read James, week 3 read Matthew, week 4 read Romans. Get into a church, find a pastor you can meet with weekly, then come back in a month when you've "detoxed". You are a complete mess right now.

[–]Red-Curious2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]spacemanu1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is exactly the type of blunt, straightforward advice I was looking for, thanks for your reply.

If I break up with this girl she will go fuck a lot of guys. How can I be ok with this and what advice do you have for getting over her? I grew up looking up to my sister and I love her sort of like I love my sister if that makes any sense.

[–]helaughsinhidden1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's not your problem to fix, pray for her and focus on Jesus

[–]redwall920 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Also ... stats dude. Post 'em up. You sound like you're 17 years old.

[–] points  (3 children) | Copy

[permanently deleted]

[–]redwall920 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Girl 1 will definitely better your life. She lies. She lacks communication skills. She Tindervenges with 7 penises. She's a sex addict. And she's almost done with her Master's degree.

Marry Girl #1 before she gets her Master's. Then once she gets a job in her field and is making the big buck$, get her pregnant. Don't get her pregnant before she's making the big buck$. After she's making the big buck$ and you've got a kid maybe she'll divorce your sorry bum. That way you'll get some serious alimony and child support. You can have a good life on the cheap without working too much for it. Just have to invest a few years to get there.

[–]spacemanu0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

So you're an asshole basically.

[–]redwall920 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My bad ... I meant to say Girl #2.

All better now, pumpkin?

[–]redwall92-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I know this is askRPC ... but I think we should bend the rules every now and then and allow a simple -uc*off here. Words are like tools, every tool has a time and a place somewhere, right?

That said. -uc*off, dude.

And in case I'm not seen as giving the OP any real advice... here's my advice OP. Get a life where is doesn't matter much one way or another how many men some woman sexes up on her Tindervenge of you. What a crappy way to win a guy back.

If I went a swallowed 7 penises, would you buy me dinner? Hey ... 20 bucks is 20 bucks!!

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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