28yo, 5'7", 146#, wife 31yo, 3yo boy, 1yo girl
Overhead Press 3x115#; Bench 3x155#; Deadlift 4x255#; Squat 3x205#
I had a conversation this evening with my wife where I shared that I think a friend's marriage is much worse than I thought it was. At work, he made a casual comment about how "Ya know, when you've been married for six years and have four kids, you don't really have sex anymore."
I intended to share this with my wife to emphasize why I want to reach out to this couple. They're coming over for dinner later this month. My wife, though, went into excuses mode: "Well, it's exhausting to have that many kids. Sex is different and doesn't happen as often - if at all," etc.. I got the vibe she was excusing her future self from sex more than she was empathizing with my buddy's wife.
Sure, I'll take your advice on that if you like, but what I really wanted to say is that it brought to my attention:
I don't want to have more kids because I'm afraid it'll be the end of my sex life.
Those of you who know me know I've been climbing out of a dead bedroom this year. It's been a long, long journey, but we're making progress. We had sex last week. I took an entirely new approach to it, and it was perhaps some of the best sex of my life.
However, I'm concerned that as soon as my wife gets pregnant again, we'll lose all that progress. I hope to get to a place where we're at 2-4x/wk. It feels futile that all that work might be for nothing. On our family planning timeline, we'd like to get pregnant again in February.
Has anyone else walked this road? What advice do you have? What Scripture speaks to these concerns? I'd like to have at least two more kids, but I don't want to go back to a dead bedroom. The thought honestly makes me feel a little sick. The feelings of rejection and loneliness are still pretty close to home.