This is my first post here, and may not really be "RP knowledge" but I have just come to this conclusion and it pissed me right the fuck off.

Okay so for starters, I was raised in a small town in a very rural area, so churches come a dime a dozen. My father is a police officer, really an alpha in my opinion. Strong as fuck, hits the gym multiple times a week (he's 48), still competes in StrongMan competitions, doesn't cave to my mom's whiny bitching when football is on and she doesn't want to watch, the whole nine yards (no pun intended). I could write a whole post on him, but you get the point. Great, so why am I just now realizing how awesome my dad is? Well, it's quite simple. Cops work long hours, and he spent time in the military so he wasn't around hardly at all when I was a kid.

My mother also worked full time when I was young. So, as a result, I was constantly being thrown around from babysitter to babysitter, mostly from female-dominated families. This was just the beginning of the BP conditioning I would receive for the rest of my childhood and teenage years.

So, where does the church tie into this?

As a result of my father and mother's work schedules, I spent a lot of time here. This was the pinnacle of my blue pill conditioning. Everything I can remember that I was taught in church just screams BP. For example, I vividly remember one of the youth pastors tell me that "it is wrong to be prideful." And I don't mean prideful in the sense of being a cocksucking asshole that waves his achievements in everyone's faces and tells them they suck at life. I'm talking about the feeling of pride. As in feeling good about what you've done as a result of your hard work. What? How? Why? Imagine the sheer anguish my little 10-year old brain was subjected to by that comment alone. After all these years of being proud of the things I had accomplished thus far, winning spelling bees, kissing pretty girls on the playground, great grades, I was wrong for feeling this way? There were many more examples of BP indoctrination on the part of the church, but this one just really makes my blood boil thinking about it now. It's fucking bullshit and toxic knowledge being shoved down the throats of young, impressionable boys.

This poisonous mentality has lingered with me all throughout my adulthood. Today, I met with a friend who speaks Mandarin with me to help me practice (Mandarin is fucking awesome, btw). As we parted ways, I thanked her for her help, and she complimented me on how well I spoke and wrote given that I've only studied Mandarin for a few months. My immediate response was, "oh I don't think I'm very good." I said this without even thinking about it. An automated response. When I returned home, sat down and thought about everything we talked about, it all of a sudden just clicked. This same bullshit principle of not being "prideful" is still ingrained in my thinking! Why should I not feel proud that a native Chinese speaker told me I speak well, and meant it? That's completely irrational. I talk to a number of native speakers, and they all say the same thing. "Wow, you speak so well!" "Your intonation is very good!" Why do I not feel proud and confident?! Because of this toxic belief that was impressed upon me as a young boy.

I vow to never step foot into that church again, ever in my life.