I know this question has probably been asked a million times here already, but I want to go into a bit of detail with it, without turning into a biblical wall of text.

To cut a long story short: Went through a bad break up, did lots of drugs, had a major panic attack, found out I had a form of OCD, became depressed and anxious, turned into a miserable hermit with no life in just under 2 years.

The point: It feels like I'm starting to recover from all of that now, and I want my life back and to be better than before. So, I've been slowly crawling back into society and reaching out to people again but it's obviously not the same.

It feels like I've lost my mojo. Not to toot my own horn, but I've always considered myself pretty naturally funny, and charming. Easy for me to win people over and laugh, and see the absurdity in any situation. It feels like I've lost that ability. I actively try and be funny or think of funny things now whether I'm alone, or with people and I struggle to do it. My delivery is dog shit as well when I do try, compared to how it all used to be so easy for me. Being depressed and bogged down by constant negative thoughts for the past 2 years hasn't helped that, I know, but it does feel like I'm way too serious now, and like my humour has become kind of basic. I'm known for thinking outside of the box usually, and being creative and on the spot funny. Able to observe what people say, or situations or anything and just mock it.

I know it sounds like I'm an arrogant cunt, but I'm trying to describe how I was before and I can't seem to let that go. Ironically, before all of this happened I didn't really give it much thought or care. I just 'was'. I miss being able to make myself laugh, and others. The pleasure of being able to laugh at life is a fucking gift, and I feel like I've turned into an old prune. I don't want to become the, "wELL aKtuALLy..." guy, yet it seems inevitable at this point.

My family is quite funny, although in different ways and I've found myself getting quite jealous and introspective when I hear them all laughing together rather than joining in like I used to. When I try now, I just feel anxious or scared of the attempt, like I can't be myself for some reason. It feels like I am capable of transcending this shit, but maybe that I'm holding myself back. Or I'm too hard on myself. I need advice.

So, I'd like to know if anyone else has been through this and gotten through it, and hopefully give me some guidance. I'm guessing the trick is to not overthink it, but that's kind of difficult to do when it feels like you have to restart the game. Maybe I just need to get laid again. Also, apologies... that was long.