I’ve(21F) been talking to a guy (mid-thirties) that I met through this subreddit, actually, since March. We hit it off SO well and that’s why I’ve kept in touch with him as long as I have. The only thing is we’ve never met in person and I haven’t seen him yet, but I’ve confirmed his name, age, etc, to be valid and legit. He knows what I look like from pictures I’ve sent him and I kinda know what he looks like. Neither of us have social media. We’ve gotten close enough that he’s even bought me a sentimental birthday gift for my birthday a few months ago.

Christmas is just around the corner and I told him the only thing I would like is a photo of him. He’s hesitant about it because throughout all these months, any time his physical appearance came up, he kept telling me not to expect much because he’s “not a looker.” He keeps himself in shape and is fit (he’s a runner and lifts weights vigorously), but he says he has an asymmetrical jaw that he wrecked while he was in the military and a scar to top it off. He’s also not too happy that he’s only 5’8 (I’m 5’3), even though I never commented negatively on his height or gave him the impression I find it unattractive, which I don’t. He says he thinks I’m super cute and it makes my heart glow to hear him say so because I sometimes don’t think so myself.

When I asked about his ex girlfriend of 4 years, he said she was gorgeous and that, at the time, it meant a lot for a gorgeous girl like her to be with a guy that looked like him (he treated her so well, but pedestalized her beauty and that was the problem because she drained him of his money and resources). It’s been 2 years since they broke up.

I think he’s afraid of losing me because he’s afraid I won’t find him attractive. I think I’m even afraid I won’t find him attractive. He’s so sweet and he has all the qualities of a man/future husband that I’m looking for. How do I get him to feel comfortable sharing himself with me? I feel like the fact that he’s put it off so long makes it harder for him to do so as we’ve gotten closer. And the dreaded question... What if I don’t like what I see? What would I say? I don’t want to hurt him.

Thank you for taking the time to read! (Also, he’s been taking a break from reddit for a few weeks now until the end of December, so he won’t see this post)