Since joining this group, I have been examining my behavior and relationship with my ex. We have been in an on and off relationship for the past three years. I broke it off this year, but have been with him "emotionally". The one thing I realized since joining this group is how important it is to listen to your gut feeling. I have always disliked his behavior of feeling catered to because he is a man. He had these expectations which I became hyperaware of when he would talk about his best friend's girlfriend. He would positively talk about how she cooks for him, cleans, left another state to be him, and gave full power to make decision during labor. All of these acts she made for her relationship which I do not know the full detail nor is it any of my business. Instead of examining his intention behind these thoughts, I am ashamed I went into a whirlwind of jealousy. Deep down, I began hating her and compared every little speck of difference between her and I. My self-esteem plummeted. I became bitter towards other queens. I didn't realize how toxic this relationship was not only to me but my relationship with other women. Instead of seeing them as sisters and uplifting one another, I began to view them as competition. I continue to reflect on my thoughts and emotions, but I want to say thank you. I have cut him off from my life for two weeks now.